Bumper (car) Puns

A list of puns related to "Bumper (car)"

Hoping to collect on insurance, I bought a bumper sticker for my old car saying, "Please Steal Me." Unfortunately it didn't work.

They stole the sticker and left the car.

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik
📅︎ Oct 20 2019
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I met the inventor of the car bumper today.

I think I made an impression.

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👤︎ u/elokwins
📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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I saw a car with a “How am I driving?” bumper sticker.

So I called the phone number listed and said, “I think it’s with your steering wheel.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 19 2018
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I rear ended a car with a Jesus bumper sticker on it.

I stopped in the Name of the Lord.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 27 2018
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I drove threw a flock of seagulls the other day. One of them hit my bumper, flew over my car and struck and police car behind me.

I got arrested for flipping him the bird.

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👤︎ u/buckeyespud
📅︎ Aug 22 2018
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There was a horrible accident in my town yesterday. A kid was playing with a yo-yo and it somehow got caught in a car's bumper. The car took off and ripped the poor kids arm off.

The driver was arrested for armed robbery.

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👤︎ u/nyquill81
📅︎ Aug 14 2017
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How do you get out of bumper to bumper traffic?

Take the bumpers off of your car.

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👤︎ u/kookoo831
📅︎ Jun 11 2013
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While passing a car with an "I heart my dachshund" sticker

My sister: Dad look, They heart their dachshund!

Dad: At least they don't club 'em.

He's the funny man around town.

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👤︎ u/its_ok_im_a_doctor
📅︎ Sep 28 2013
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Bought a new car today..

Basically they gave me bumper to bumper repair coverage for an extra 50 a month. The loan officer told me that if I get the coverage and I need a tow at anytime, the coverage designates me a free tow whenever I need it.

So I says "no thanks, I've already got 10"

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👤︎ u/BLOODY_TAINT_LICKER
📅︎ Sep 18 2013
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Should Dodge

My son was inspecting the front bumper of my car. He said "Dad there's a lot of bugs on your bumper." I said "They should Dodge." I drive a Dodge Journey.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/rmwkaiser
📅︎ May 26 2014
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I rear ended a car with a Jesus bumper sticker on it.

I stopped in the name of the Lord.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 13 2018
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