A _Leaf Blower_
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Az_Aujla
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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The movie "Unbreakable" would have been very different if it had featured a glass blower.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenimMan13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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I feel like a government whistle blower

because I'm snowed in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrispyb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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I just asked my coworker to use the blower on my trailer

Did I just call in an air strike?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teancom459
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2017
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The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.

Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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The shovel was a groundbreaking invention

But everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I hate vacuum cleaners. They suck.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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What do you call a Viking prostitute?

A Leif blower.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VolsOrNothing
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Got the security guard while leaving work today

I was walking by the front desk with a leaf blower and the security guard puts his hands up and says "leaf me alone!"

i smirk at him and quickly come back with "Ahhh, I tree what you did there"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickeymouse4348
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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I was dad joked on my way to lunch with my girlfriend

I'm walking to my car and pass my dad as he's doing some yardwork with the leaf-blower. I casually say, "I'm leaving." Instantaneously he replies, "Me too!" and goes about his business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cawblade
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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The shovel was a ground breaking invention

But everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Admblackhawk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
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Why was the snowman so happy?

He saw me get out the snow blower.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrrebelshop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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