Entry for [One for the Archive]
The Archivist was very old. He'd lost count of the years long ago, but he was reasonably sure he was at or near seven digits. He didn't look old. He didn't feel old. Sam, the Immortal, he called himself. Between the longevity treatment and nano-biotic safeguards roaming through his body, he was technically an eternal 37. He'd thought about that hard at the time. He'd felt it was the perfect age. Old enough to be respected, but not so old, he'd be losing his hair or going grey. In retrospect, he'd have chosen 27. He'd thought about it for millennia. He'd be old enough to do what he wanted and young enough not to care about the consequences. "Missed opportunity, Sam," he scolded himself.
The Archivist sighed and surveyed the entrance to the vault. Behind those doors was a storehouse of knowledge so vast even he hadn't seen it all. Orbital sensors had picked up the approaching craft and alerted him. Sam didn't recognize the ship, though. "Interesting." he thought, looking at the design, "something new." Sam took his position next to the vault door and awaited whatever guests would be joining him. He'd have to check his book later, but it had to be around 500 years since someone had dropped by.
The ground shook. "Must be a big ship," Sam thought to himself.
"Perhaps it's someone important," he mused.
"Far more likely it's only someone who only thinks they are important," he decided.
The doors burst open to the foyer, and a fifty-foot tall, mechanical, spider-octopus-main battle tank rushed into the space.
"I am, The Singularity!" it announced through speakers so loud the room shook, and the dust bunnies in the corner danced. "I am the World Breaker, the Explorer, and the End of All Things. All who stand before me shall despair!"
Sam waited for the monologue to reach a natural break and then interjected, "Hi, The Singularity. No, that's weird; mind if I call you Sing? It'd be a lot easier if we're going to be spending time together."
"FOOL!" The Singularity screamed, wrapping a tentacle around Sam and lifting him halfway up the wall, pressing its face near his own. "Do you not recognize your doom? I am here to absorb all the knowledge of this place!"
"So, I'm sensing we're not ok with 'Sing,' then. Ok. No problem," Sam replied, "Great, then. Where would you like to get started? You don't strike me as a summer beach book kind of intelligence
... keep reading on reddit ➡http://www.nature.com/nclimate/journal/v2/n4/full/nclimate1448.html
Most of these stories are anachronistic and follow a specific OC of mine as he journey's through eternal reconstitution. Not all are happy, not all are sad, but I like to theme each one. If you want a good start here are the first 2 which I think can give a decent understanding of the type of stories you can expect.
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The Beginning: Part 2
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Adults
“Come on people...” The masked man ordered the hostages from behind the Eel mask. “Jewelry and cash only, sorry no credit.”
“Hey, JackAss, how's the vault coming?” A man in a cat mask asked.
“Shark says it won't budge. Some anti-TK metal.” The man in a donkey mask responded.“He can't open it?” Cat asked
“Well he didn't say no, he just said...” The building shook. “... To move!”
The building shook even more as the vault pushed itself out of it's position and up out of the building.
“Does he not understand the word 'subtle'?” Rabbit asked.
“Understand?” The man in a shark mask said as he floated through the hole, “Yeah I understand, but I don't give a God-damn about your subtlety.” He said as the vault came careening down into the bank's parking lot, splitting open and sending it's valuable scattering. Then they stopped, frozen in their scatter and condensed back into the vault.
“Get your bags boys. I'll deal with the super-fools.”
“Jeeze where'd our guy find this lunatic?” Cat asked.
“You're one to talk.” JackAss snapped. “Let's hurry.”
“Leave my share, I'll take it from here.” Shark smiled as he took off his mask. “God, how can you morons breathe in these things?” Alan Quain, now known as Release to the world shook his face to get the normal feeling back into his cheeks.
“Trade secret.” Eel snapped as he tossed two bags down. “Keep an eye out for them!”
Release rolled his eyes as he tossed his two duffel bags full of valuables under a car. Then he heard the rumble.
“Right on time...” He smiled as the earth nearby split open and the elemental known as Tunneler popped out.
“Why am I not surprised?” The elemental snapped.
“Long time no see Dirt-Nap.” Release smiled as he walked in front of the broken vault.
“You can't beat me Release, not without
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
It's my favorite day in STFC! You know, the one in between arcs where you get the survey prompt? But today I received a long form survey, not just the "three questions" survey. Because why not, I figure I'll share that response here and let it get gnawed on by Reddit.
Here goes, with some edits for Reddit's finicky formatting:
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Your game still costs entirely too much to play.
I see you and that you're making it easier to level. Thanks for the Biotics and the better, ever-improving battle pass. I also see you and know that this generosity is a calculated plan incentivizing folks to spend more. Do you ever discuss how much it costs to reach ops 60? Ops 50? What about how much money must a player spend to build a Corvus? Each tier up? Remember to include what must go into a player's station to make it to shipyard 53!
But first, let's pour one out for the Tribune. What was once the brightest gem in every apex whale's arsenal is now a ship to skip over on the way to 53. You must have the tax paperwork prepared for the owners of Tribunes. They'll want to write off the depreciation of this asset, right? The Tribune is now a ship that players will skip on their way to build a Nova and then a Corvus or the like. Still, thanks for the extra beef on the Ent-A and the Hegh'ta, I guess? Just in time for them to get sidelined.
Right. Moving on.
Next staff meeting over zoom, each of you opens with a statement from this list:
- It is fair that players spend more to build a Corvus than they would on a new car.
- I believe that using manipulative algorithms to drive player spending behaviors is more important than them paying their bills on time
- I have faith that no part of my work is responsible for taking advantage of addictive or gambling behaviors
Or, bonus round... create your own affirming statement! After all, it is bonus season and I sure hope you guys met your revenue targets for STFC. Let us know if those shady, frustrating events y'all introduced actually increased conflict and spending in Territory. If at first, you don't succeed (because players found a way to settle in more peacefully than planned) try, try again. Right? Or might makes right? I get confused sometimes.
What did you ask again? Oh, right; why am I 'slightly dissatisfied' with STFC?
Somewhat more seriously, I know that what you do is difficult. You are not individually responsible for a player's choice to spend their money on your game. Seriously. Just keep in mind tha
... keep reading on reddit ➡For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Before playing the legendary edition I have played the mass effect trilogy from the years they released and obviously I loved the franchise. When Andromeda released on 2017 I was so excited that I scheduled a vacation leave for 1 whole week just to focus on the game(yes I had no life and I still do). On my first day on my vacation leave I logged in to my steam for the first time in 3 months because I just got promoted and I needed to work my ass off. When I searched for mass effect andromeda I was surprised to see very negative reviews. So I decided to search andromeda on Google and I saw many articles about how andromeda is not worth playing. I got disheartened and disenchanted with how negative the reviews were. That stopped me from actually trying the game and judge it in fear of hating the game. So what I did was I just spent my 1 week vacation leave playing assassins creed for the first time since I haven't played it and suffice to say I enjoyed it. Now to the present, 2021, I'm such a sucker for mass effect that I purchased the legendary edition during the Christmas sales. 50% off was a good enough deal for me especially since I already played all 3 mass effect games before. (I payed full price for wc3 reforged and I still want a refund). I enjoyed every second playing legendary edition. After killing the reapers and getting a cutscene that Shepard managed to live I decided to give andromeda a chance and play it. What I can say with my gaming experience with andromeda is that I appreciate the combat system which is almost similar to dragon age inquisition. I didn't specifically mind the new characters but I did expect that I would be able to import my mass effect 3 legendary edition save file. Looks like it was my fault that I forgot about andromeda not being able to import save files when I read the bad reviews from 2017 since it is a new galaxy and all. My thoughts on the tasks/quests is that there are some quests/tasks that were a waste of time and were not fun at all however most of the plot line quests and stories were entertaining and interesting. The skill and profile system were interesting especially being able to change profiles because of SAM. However, having only 3 active skills to use with a large skill tree made me feel like they wasted an opportunity to be had to make players feel like they can do whatever sort of combo they wanted to without having to respect or reassign the skill bar from time to time which is such a pain. The exp
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Still a work in progress, but I thought I'd talk a bit about some of the "elements", aspects, whatever you want to call them, in my magic system that I'm making. In short, the universe, forces of reality, and pretty much everything is produced from the energy of chaos and void, which are seen as the grand forces within the world. From these two forces, comes the elements, which represent things within reality and the forces that govern the world.
Space and time: Space and time represent dimension and passage, like how most people think of space and time. Space and time are also seen as the creative and destructive forces that have the potential to end all. In another sense, space also represents physical measurements and such, and time could represent chronological events.
Bolt and Chill: Bolt and chill are the elements and duality of energy within the world. Bolt is a more hectic, and chaotic energy, representing unbalanced possibilities, kinetic speed/energy, and heat, and lightning, hence the name bolt. Chill represents a way more balanced and peaceful energy, representing order, peace, potential energy, and Ice/Water/Overall things that are related to the cold.
Soul and Dust: The two elements that represent essence, and the physical or spiritual make up of things in the world. Dust is the element of bonds between things, the outer self, structure, physical material, and earthly substance. Soul on the other hand, represents is the opposite, with freedom, separation, spiritual essence, and the inner self.
Cog and Cloud: Cog and Cloud are the elements of visual perspective and outlook/experience of life itself. On the first half, there's cog, which is the element of realism, industrial machines, mechs, systems, coordination, innovation, and work. Cloud is the element of mythical approaches to life, such as faith in a over-worldly being. It can also represent dreams, magic itself, belief, and the imagination of the mind.
Life and Blight: Life and blight, the biotic elements of the living and the dead. Life, obviously represents life itself and the living realm of organisms, animals, humans, y'know, the basics. It can also represent new beginnings, plants, and vitality. Blight is the element of death, gushing blood, and the ending of life. Associated with skulls and bones, rotten meats, and fate itself.
Finally, Mind and Heart: The two elements that represent the person themselves. While the mind is of logic
... keep reading on reddit ➡I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
Nothing, it just waved
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
When I got home, they were still there.
