Goldfish are good pets, but...

Siamese fighting fish are Betta!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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That's a pretty nice fish you have there.

But mine's betta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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I’ve been trying to write jokes about small fish

If you hear any, would you let minnow?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Dadjoked a girl on Tinder

We'd been talking for a few days, already had a plan to meet up at by this point.

Me: Hey! How's your day going?

Her: Good, thanks! Just went to Petsmart and bought medicine for my betta fish, walking home now. His fins are falling off, the poor guy.

Me: Aw, I hope he gets betta.

Her: Oh god

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quiddity99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
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Mr. T is not a fan of Dave Grohl.

In fact, he pities the foo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coconoose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reaperXX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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Today my daughter asked why we seperated her two fish

I said, "betta safe than sorry!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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I once drew a Venn Diagram to explain my use of puns to my wife

We had been cooking dinner, and my wife commented (after one too many comments about 'Gouda being gooda and Feta being Betta') that it seemed like most of my puns tend to be food puns.

So I drew her a diagram. I started with a huge circle to represent all of my puns. Inside that I drew a large circle filling about 90% of it.

"Those are my food puns."

I then drew another circle, this one about half the size of the food circle, with almost all of it inside the food circle.

"And these are my cheese puns."

My wife immediately called me out, pointing at the sliver that was outside of the food circle.

"Shouldn't this be fully inside the other circle?"

"No," I say, "Those puns are rare, but they tend to be cheesiest."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xahhfink6
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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My dad always told me his dream was to open a store that only sold Siamese fighting fish..

And he'd name it "I'll Do You One Betta"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchwiftyInHere
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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My dad tells a fish joke.

So my brother purchased a Betta fish yeaterday.

Mom: "How's your new fish?" Dad: "I hope it's betta than yesterday." "Hueehh hueehh hueehh"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCHMAPaFOODLES
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
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I Dadjoked my friend's facebook status about his missing fish

(Friend's Facebook Status) The Case of the Disappearing Betta Fish....

(My response) Don't worry. I'm sure it'll be found. In fact, I'll put a wager on it. Wanna…

Betta fish?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweatybronson
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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