Ordered some bass in a restaurant, but I had to return it because the fish they gave me was full of diarrhea

Sick bass turds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Explaining his stance on eating fish, he says that he’s fine with eating fish just not bass,

Because you should never go bass to mouth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MildBanana
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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What did the fish say before biting the lure?

Walleye suppose I’ll be nice and give the fisherman some action. β€œBass”ically I don’t want him to have a β€œCrappie” day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deerkiller14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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Never go fishing with a dj

They keep dropping the bass

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/db720
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are DJs bad fishing buddies?

Because they keep dropping the bass.

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Why’d the fish swim right into the bull shark’s mouth?

He was a dumb bass

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I used to go fishing with Skrillex ...

but he kept dropping the bass.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rude fish?

A bass hole.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChicagoNarwhals
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I was a DJ performing at a fishing dock

You should've seen it when I dropped the bass

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fr1ckreddit420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?

A bass turd.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I went fishing and cought a few bass

But I had to throw them back because they were full of diarrhea.....Sick bass turds

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried fishing with Eminem today

It didn't go too well as he kept on dropping the bass

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AttemptsMade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I caught a lot of bass on my last fishing trip.

They weren't much treble to catch.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jihoc1748
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I own a fish that can talk.

I asked him, "What lights up your night?"

He said " Blub"

Sorry, he's a bit dyslexic.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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My friend and I went fishing. He cast out first and got a bite. So he reeled in a trumpet. Then he cast out in a different area, got a bite and reeled in a clarinet.

After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A fish tale

A small mouth is swimming behind a large mouth and the large mouth inconsiderately poops in his face. The small mouth spat out and cried in disgust and ire, "bass turd!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterThenatoni
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If you can think of a better fish pun than me

Then let minnow

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I got pooped on by a fish the other day..

It was a real bass-turd

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?

They’re both basses.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neobloodsin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do fishes keep their money?

In the river banks.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaacdragon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stupid fish?

A dum-bass

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoiBob444
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to play the bass but I quit.

It was hard to get the fish smell off my hands.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do call the illegitimate son of a fish?

A reel bass turd.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miyashinzki
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?

bass boat or a bass boat

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say to the wall?

Dam.

But what did the wall say?

Dumb bass!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djmuhlestein
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I found this fish it was super stupid

What a dum bass

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A fish pooped on my shoes today

That Bass-turd

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpontaneousIrony
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What chorus section is a fish in?

The bass section

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a fishes favorite instrument?

A Bass!

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MichaelScott315
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the least intelligent fish?

A dumb-bass.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N1CET1M
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The origins of fatherless children lies in fish.

They are bass turds.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kignak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Since we're on fish puns...

We took a plastic fish to a marching rehearsal at my university last year. Afterwards, we proceeded to have a conversation that was one pun after another.

"Fish. That is all."

"Just for the halibut."

"Oh for the love of cod, can we not bring this here?"

"Seriously, I will krill every last one of you."

"I'm not squidding with you guys. This scampi happening any more."

"Sorry. I couldn't resist the oppor-tuna-ty."

"You're floundering."

"Why, pollocks! I'm just getting started!"

"Don't worry. His shark is worse than his bite."

"Don't trout my pun ability."

"'Pun ability' my bass! You wouldn't know a fish joke if it sprat you in the eye!"

"I might need to go see a sturgeon. These jokes are killing me."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaws9182
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
🚨︎ report
What fish is the best at music?

A tune-a

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sharkdetective
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't you see DJs go fishing?

They keep dropping the bass

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brdwdly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a fish joke here...

But I don't think it's the right plaice to. I feel like I'll just flounder. I'm a dab hand with bad puns, though I'm probably gonna look like a right bass. I trout this'll be very popular. I mean, sal-mon, it's pretty bad. I think I need to tuna bit of it. I should ask my friend Hali-but she's probably busy. So no dice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I went fishing using a speaker as bait.

I thought I was in treble, but in the mid-dle of my trip, I figured out I was just going to get bass.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatMetalJesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall

Dam What did the wall say back? Dumb bass

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoAim20
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stupid fish?

A dumb-bass

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Norskey
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fish's poop?

A bass turd

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edc0013
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I was talking to my dad about Bastille Day.

He said, β€œIsn’t that the day when everyone robs all the fish from the water?”

Bass-steal day.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majestic-Incident
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is a bass player

And man does he know how to tune a fish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What type of music do freshwater fish like?

Drum and Bass...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What made Skrillex stop fishing?

He would always drop the bass!

P.s. Joke only works in text format.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedex525
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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