I once knew a guy that liked to bask in the sun. He touched my circle of friends but did not enter it...

He was a real tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I woke up this morning to find two birds sitting in the sun in our backyard eating ice cream.

They were Basking Robins.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I went out the garden this afternoon and got sunburnt. It was my own fault...

I was basking for it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
At sunrise there were two robins overlooking a freshly plowed field

One says to the other β€œLets go eat our fill in seeds and worms.” They swoop down and do so.

Once all fat and happy they find a spot under a tree with the perfect amount of sun, and bask in the sunlight.

An alley cat rolls in and seeing the two birds. Thinking about how he hasn’t eaten in days, and sees two fat birds in front of him, he creeps up, and gobbles them in one fell swoop.

In the aftermath, he takes their spot in the sun, and as he’s laying down to nap he says β€œMan... I sure do love Baskin Robins.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I am the proud owner of a family-run barber shop

For centuries, we've used our shop as a means of teaching the youngest of our lineage the importance of teamwork, the value of a dollar and, most importantly, the self-satisfaction felt in a job well-done.

In the past few weeks, it's been repeatedly brought to my attention that our youngest child, Sheeran, has been demonstrating particularly helpful and productive tendencies so, today, I felt it was finally time to experience the honor of rewarding his efforts, offering him the opportunity to join our workforce; to which he was nothing short of ecstatic!

I'll be honest, I initially withheld concerns that his excitement would subside once I explained the sorts of menial work I'd have to start him off on but, to my relief, he took no issue in hearing that his duties would mostly revolve around wiping our patrons' hair off of the chairs, and sweeping it up from the floor.

Sharing a moment of beautiful silence, exchanging our most heartfelt of smiles and basking in this pivotal moment of his development, I placed my hand on his shoulder and said, "Son...

You are really going to have your work cut out for you."

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/somenewinfo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
In my family, we like to ridicule whoever gets the fewest amount of gifts at Christmas.

(This is a true story.)

Usually this is my Dad. My Mom will be opening presents all day, and Dad is done after he unwraps his three gifts.

We really give him a hard time and he loves it. He's a champ.

Well one year, we're opening gifts, and my brother's got almost nothing in his little pile. He had recently bought a house and his main gift was a garden hose.

This is exciting because we're gonna just tear into him. He is a good sport and he is ready to bask in the glory of his Christmas failure.

We finish the unwrapping and my Dad looks over to him and says "Well son, you really got hosed this year".

P.S. I am x-posting my own comment from an AskReddit thread at someone's suggestion, and definitely NOT in a shameless quest for karma.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jbenz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
A few birds were sitting in the sun in our backyard, and my cat was desperate to catch and eat them.

He loves basking robins.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I was sunbathing in Northern Spain when a local came up to me and gave me a bowl of soup.

It was a Basque bask bisque.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
After beating my roommate at Mortal Kombat...

I don't have any kids, but I think this was pretty dad-like:

We usually scream at max volume when we play, but our other roommate was sleeping so we had to stay pretty quiet.

It was my Kung Lao and Kano vs his Smoke and Sonya.

I swept him clean, 3-0, and he gave the excuse, "It was because I couldn't get loud."

I told him, "Oh, but you did get loud... KUNG LAO'D!"

He groaned, I basked in the glory.

πŸ‘︎ 209
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/staggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my wife as she explained something to our toddler.

My wife couldn't open a jar of grape jelly. Our two year old didn't understand why she had to bring it to me. He was only concerned with how long it was taking to make his sandwich. I opened it, but it was pretty hard because the jelly had caked around the threads and dried in place, gluing the lid to the jar.

My wife saw our son getting impatient and told him, "Hold on kiddo, mommy couldn't open the jar, so she had to bring it to daddy. Even daddy had a hard time opening it."

At this point, my internal dad joke radar started screaming a proximity warning. The collision with a dad joke was imminent. I smiled, took half a second to bask in my dad glory, and added, "Yeah, it was jammed."

Wife groaned, but son laughed (because he saw the lid was finally open). I take whatever I can get.

πŸ‘︎ 247
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtaxNOOOOOO
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my Sister with a Zinger

My sister was telling me about she met her boyfriend on Tinder (I haven't met him yet). I told her it was a good thing she wasn't Dora the Explorer. After a beat where she gave me a confused look, I explained. If she was Dora, she never would have been able to swipe right.

I was answered with silence and an eye roll that suggested I was going to hell. I only grinned and basked in her hate.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trogdor6135
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
🚨︎ report
"No thanks, I don't like them"

My SO called me out recently because when we went to the vets with our kitten, the receptionist approached us in the waiting room with a bag of cat treats and said to my SO "Awww, would he like one?"

I replied "No thanks, I don't like them."

Receptionist awkwardly chuckled, SO tutted and I sat there basking in warmth of my dadjoke victory.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bell-91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend won't be complaining about her contact lenses for a while

My girlfriend was talking about her contact lenses, she's been having a bit of a problem with them..

Girlf: "One of them is never right"

Me: "That'd be the left one"

Needless to say there was a lot of sighing from her end whilst I glow basked in the moment

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
🚨︎ report
I should take notes

It was Sunday dinner and my mom was telling the family about the last day at her old job.

Mom: Yesterday was a sad day, oh wait sorry, Friday was a sad day, yesterday was saturday

Dad (sounding sincere but knowing exactly what he is doing): I'm sorry to hear that honey. So is today the saddest day?

after a confused look from my mom, and a shared smirk + head shake from my brother and I, my dad then begins giggling to himself and basking in his own cleverness.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tbey52
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
🚨︎ report
Every Time My Dad Meets a New Kid

Dad: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Kid: I don't know. Tell me.

Dad: I'll tell you later.

Kid: Come on, tell me, please!

Dad: Hahahaha

He then commences to bask in his own wit.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OuterSpacewaysInc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Today is my brother's birthday...

... and he wanted to see where the presents from us (Me and my parents) were. My dad looked at him, outstretched his arms, and said "Here you are. Bask in our presence."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarioLink1998
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.