A man called Bart walks into a club and the man behind the bar shoots him.

He goes β€œ they don’t call me the Bartender for nothing”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakedcake32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What did Homer say to Bart when Bart was getting too obsessed with a girl?

"You're a simp, son!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ptshoink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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What job does Bart Simpson hate the most?

Bartender.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StudiosS
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Why does Moe hate Bart Simpson?

Because he is a Bart-ender

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeleryHunter143
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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I suppose Bart is really a simp's son
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emeraldkma
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Poor Bart eventually caught Coronavirus..

...He was displaying the usual Simpsons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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A guy named Bart enters a bar. As soon as he enters, he is immediately shot and killed. Who killed Bart?

Bartender

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Post was on a picture of the Simpsons where there was a flashback between Homer and Marge taking care of Bart and Lisa but theres a picture of Maggie in the background before she was born
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nameisnoman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Ever notice that in 'The Simpsons,' Homer choking Bart is a recurring gag?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dweebnut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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If I had known that this subreddit existed, I would've shared the tale of Brown Paper Bart with you long ago.

A man is riding his horse through the desert, and, well, he starts to get thirsty. He sees a small town off in the distance, so he sets off in that direction to get some water for his horse and some whiskey for hisself.

Well, as he gets into that little town he starts to notice something peculiar. Not a soul is out. Sun's setting, but still plenty of light. Water in the horse troughs tells him it ain't a ghost town, but folks ain't comin' out for some reason.

Now, as soon as he turns onto the town's main street, he sees a soberin' sight; the sheriff, on a ladder, hammering the last nail into a brand new gallows. He sidles his horse on up to the sheriff and says, "Pardon me sheriff. I don't mean to pry, but pray tell, who're them gallows fer?"

The sheriff looks around, surprised to see someone out. He steps down, takes off his hat and scratches the back of his head thoughtfully, before replying, "Well, I reckon you must be a stranger in these parts. I reckon then that you ain't never heard of Brown Paper Bart. Anyway, we're lynchin' him come sunrise."

"Brown Paper Bart? I reckon not, sheriff. That's a mighty peculiar name, pray tell, whaddaya call him Brown Paper Bart fer?"

"Wayill, I reckon we call him Brown Paper Bart on account 'a the fact that everything he wears is made a' brown paper. His hat's made a' brown paper, his boots is made a' brown paper. His chaps is made a' brown paper, his neckerchief's made a brown paper. Heck dang shoot, even his lunch bag is made a' brown paper!"

The man looks at the sheriff a moment, perplexed, before replying, "Well, sheriff, I reckon that's a mighty peculiar thing for a man to do, but that don't explain these brand new gallows. Pray tell, what're you lynchin' Brown Paper Bart fer?"

[Insert a dad-length pause here.]

"...Rustlin'."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malenkylizards
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
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When I told my mate I was going deaf, he asked, β€œwhat are the symptoms?”

I said, β€œthey’re a yellow cartoon family with Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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And Bort
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluesclues02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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Et tu Barte? imgur.com/ybWeyFq
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnotNotNaught
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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I'm going to be a bartender

Guys named Bart, watch out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry eachother.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CulturedGrass
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Sideshow Bob could never get a job at Moe's Tavern

Because of his many past failures with Bart-ending.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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[Help] Looking for some good clean name puns!

I have a few examples of what I'm looking for. I like them, but I'm sure the power of Reddit can come up with some that are even better!

  • William (Bill) Ding

  • James (Jim) Nastics

  • Bart Ender

  • Ted Manwalkin

  • Gustavo (Gus) Undheit

As you can see, they don't even have to be straight up puns when said normally, but their common nicknames lend themselves into it. Anyone have any more good ones? Bad ones are appreciated too, lets all have a laugh!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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The Pundits - Part 1

A quaint little men's class,

a few with class,

some smelling of a gin glass,

some with eyes of a lass,

the remainder eyeing a lad,

but all glad,

and all present,

youngster of the present,

bearders of the crescent,

readers new testaments,

preachers of old testaments,

bearers of saffron tenets,

wearers of white tints,

weird lovers of croissant,

well, all here, will all hear?

we never know,

lets look at the show

 

The English teacher, said,

"how to drink a juice?"

i know, said bart the bartender,

"with vodka and chicken tender"

the weirded beardo now angry,

showed he was a shouter,

wanted to be a bart-ender,

while shushing the crowd,

use a pipe, piped up a voice, loud,

"huh" exclaimed preacher pastor,

"no smoking" he said, showing a guilty fluster ,

"no sir" said the voice,

I'm extra maker,

spoke the voice quicker,

Mr.White scratching head,

"I'm an ex-straw maker",

the air cleared.

 

Proceeding further, Teacher continued,

the class was listening, eyes glued,

"etiquette is important" he said,

"wear napkin before eating",

their faces changed,

pulse now beating,

Mr.White said, "sir, we don't bleed",

an irritated saffron Sundar spoke,

"if you bleed, education you don't need"

the English sir, now a sundered bloke,

calmed the masked fish market,

as his God's fate chisel hammered,

"Do you know how to fork?" he stammered,

a brief silence, and too many whispers later

"I Pen is use sir", said a bright face,

"Do you know how to use a fork?" he corrected,

with damage now done, Silence resumed.

 

>ThePundits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themadraspaiyan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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β€œDoctor, I am having some hearing issues.”

Doctor: β€œCan you describe the symptoms?”

β€œSure. Homer is fat, and Bart is an ass.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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i want to be a bartender

guys named bart, you better watch out

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Sideshow Bob couldn’t get a job at Moe’s Tavern

Because of his previous failures at Bart-ending.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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