Google is set to come out with a new browser that manages search results based solely on your DNA

Set to be called the Google Chromosome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a business focused solely on transporting Capra aegagrus hircus. We'll have slings, bags, and more.

It's called Totes My Goats!

(Capra aegagrus hircus is the scientific name for goats)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do I shop solely in German stores?

Because there I can find Aldi things I need.

It can be a Lidl expensive, though.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManWithNoClue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw this at the grocery store.. was very tempted to get it solely because of the name
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hEecCk
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Looking for a movie to watch, might watch it solely for the bourbon joke... youtu.be/0g1BiM1iuCA?t=2m…
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfgame
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
🚨︎ report
I married a prostitute and thought she was devoted solely to me

Turns out she was buy-sexual.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/belly_bell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
🚨︎ report
This one has Sole
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone is out sole searching
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drifters74
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Gay soles
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HairyBarrelMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtru86
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe..

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldenBalls7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What smells like feet and tastes like fish?

Shoe-shi

πŸ‘︎ 223
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wentcamping
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
If you know you know
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_boogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't plan to put up solar panels.

But if you do, more power to you.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the shoe factory that burned down?

Luckily no soles were lost.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_y_not
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Baring her sole?
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nahalido
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to satan. It’s your basic β€œSold my sole to the devil” novel.
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the shoe say when he was the last one left alive?

β€œI guess I’m the sole survivor”

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungry-Hippo_3124
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a synonym for a pair of shoes?

Sole-mates.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Another lost "sole"
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmazonBoxMonster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Found these lost soles outside my local dollar store
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Foot massages,

they're good for the sole.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bekahbuxi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Cats are evil

But a dog will consume your sole

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shredbmc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory.

He was the sole perpetrator.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Golden365
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Should slippers with rubber soles be called antislippers?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hooterscadoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
[OC] death goes grocery shopping
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fyahspreadit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...

Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.

So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmohon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
No
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CC-bythesea
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Quarantine day 25: Found my husband working on the patio with his scroll saw. Yes. It's a scale model.
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cynthiaimprov
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name.

is so they can tell when it's really inΒ trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Namirred
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do bottomless shoes count as Halloween decorations.

Because they have no soles.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilleyal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Cinderella

What did Prince Charming realize when the glass shoe fit Cinderella's feet?

That she was his sole-mate

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jslee_beats0608
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister's family lost their only income when his husband got fired from his job making shoes, baguettes and sausages.

He was their sole bread wiener.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the seafood-themed jazz musician's career tank?

Because he had no sole

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRage469
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you send your boots when they've been misbehaving?

Boot camp

Edit, "boot camp didn't work out so the boots went on a sole searching adventure."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PantsHelpMe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Old shoes on the street are lost soles reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pawnyyy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought a pair of shoes from this drug dealer yesterday

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping the whole day.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Descator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Shoe factory burned down

No soles lost

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rammchick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...

Over a million soles were lost.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad hands me this nasty shoe sole and says

I found my sole fishing in the mountains I just want you to have it.

OOC. He brought the shoe sole 1500 miles just to tell me this dad joke

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aslnyysdsear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pair of shoes ?

Sole-mates

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aritra_001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chef boil a shoe?

He was making sole food

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_Is
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate my new job in the shoe recycling plant

It’s Sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CD-one
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doodle_98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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