What do you call a woman balancing a pint of beer on her head playing pool?
My friend has peg on his short sleeve shirt for balancing small white balls on when he wants to whack them with a club...
He always wears his tee-shirt when golfing.
What do you call a woman that plays pool while balancing a pint on her head?
Beertrix Potter
(The 'Burnadebt' joke from last night reminded me that my dad told me both those jokes about 25 years ago! Definitely using them if I ever end up being a dad.)
My wife caught me balancing on one leg and asked what I was doing.
I told I was practicing for later. As I want to start the new year off on the right foot
Did you guys hear about the man that walked into a convenience store naked, balancing on the rounded parts of his feet near the base of his toes, juggling 3 globes, and somehow managed to rob the place?
A woman approached me in the bank and for me to check her balance…….
I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady asked me to check her balance...
My first Dad joke
At the last ultrasound appointment they asked me if i had any questions
"What's your return policy?"
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis if you will.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
I went to the bank and asked the teller to check my balance.
She shoved me pretty hard but I didn't fall down.
Forgiveness is the most important part of a well balanced breakfast.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
Why da fuck did tha lion eat tha tightrope walker? He wanted er well-balanced meal!
Where did the word "Vertigo" come from?
The first person diagnosed with vertigo was a German man. When he lost his balance he exclaimed:
"Vere'd it go?"
Did you guys hear about the gymnast who owed money?
She had an outstanding balance.
I couldn’t figure out why my checkbook wouldn’t balance. It turns out I was adding instead of subtracting.
And that made all the difference.
Sometimes you wonder what makes a dad joke a dad joke
Well most of the time it involves grass stained new balances and long socks with shorts
The best scales are made in the Czech Republic
They employ a system of Czechs and balances.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle, and a well dressed man on a bicycle..?
Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
A one legged man walks into a bank
and tells the banker im here to check my balance
A little old lady at the ATM asked me to help check her balance.
All it took was one good shove to tell it was terrible.
My wife asked me to help her balance both of the kids...
I told her they're pretty close in weight so move the older one closer to the fulcrum and that should balance them out.
Now that I have more time, I’ve decided to take care of my health and eat a more balanced diet.
I haven’t dropped any food so far!
When I was training to be a teller, an old woman came in and asked me to check her balance.
I got fired from my bank job because I checked a customer’s balance
I recently got fired from a bank teller position when asked to check a client’s balance.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance
Today at the bank some old lady asked if I could help check her balance.
An old lady asked me if I could help her check her balance at the bank.
I lost my job at the bank
A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over
An old lady walked into the bank and asked me if I could help her check her balance.
One day in the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance...
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance....
Last night at the ATM, An old lady asked me to help check her balance
A man walked into the bank and asked the teller to check his balance.
An old lady in bank asked me if I can check her balance
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