Shopping for a Baby monitor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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My wife is so unreasonable. First she told me to get a baby monitor

Then she told me she doesn’t want lizards in the house. Make up your mind!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unleashtheducks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Wife: Oh my god why have you got that huge lizard?

Husband: You said we needed a baby monitor!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball-_-fondler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Wife bought this deli crab salad and this was my response.

Little bit of context to start out. Had just dadjoked my wife mere seconds earlier about me being nervous to turn on the baby monitor since it is displaying c4 for channel 4 and the relation between explosives, what not etc. (you see where that was going)

Anyways, now that her guard is down (I don't think she was expecting a twofer) I pulled out this weird deli crab salad concoction she had just bought at the store, showed it to her and said with a look of disgust on my face, (she knows I don't like the stuff)

Me: "Seriously though, I just have one question for you."

Her: "I know you don't like the stuff I just got enough for me it was on a good sale!"

Me: "What the crab is this?"

Those precious few milliseconds where her expression transitions from confused to eye roll is my favorite part.

(Yes these jokes were all shamelessly planned)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tokyo0709
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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