She gave me a BJ with some alternative rock playing in the background

I guess you can say I got some Radiohead

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/diego_godean
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
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Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion โ€“ but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits โ€“ all from late twentieth-century Terra โ€“ on a training study of Carterโ€™s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

โ€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are gradedโ€, exclaimed one student. โ€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?โ€

โ€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearbyโ€, said Feghoot. โ€œLet us walk that way while I explain.โ€ As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carterโ€™s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

โ€œI seeโ€, said the student. โ€œItโ€™s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s right,โ€ Feghoot went on smoothly. โ€œYou just hit the road jack and donโ€™t come back no mo.โ€

His students registered dismay and anguish.

โ€œIsnโ€™t that right, old-timer?,โ€ Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

โ€œAhm afraid not, suhโ€, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. โ€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. Itโ€™s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

โ€œSo you see,โ€ he finished, eyes twinkling, โ€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.โ€

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. โ€œAnd heโ€, he said, turning to his students, โ€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nomnommish
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Domestic Skills

When my wife came home yesterday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me on the couch having done nothing but eat chips and watch TV all afternoon.

She shook her finger at me, "You better watch this lazy attitude you've had lately, mister, or you're gonna to make me do something I'll regret!"

"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a bj out of this."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hayeshilton
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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How do you make a tissue dance?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/marcuccione
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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Proud of my fellow dadjokers

As my wife and I approached the samples stand at BJ's, I noticed they were sampling cashews. So naturally I faked a sneeze and said "CASSSSSSSSHHHHEEEWWWW!"

She replied, "you know, three people have done jokes like that today, and they've all been guys."

So as we were walking away, I said, "alright, cashew later!"

She told me that was a new one :)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Wtayjay
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2015
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