Happy alentine's ay you all!

For those of you not getting the v or the d

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dutch_fossil_fan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
After Valentine's Day, we need an "Alentine's Ay"

because there should be something for those who don't get the V or the D

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My-my-my-myyyyy Corona!
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techsavior
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"

Ay poppy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thendofreason
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason_Boyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I WOOD like to see that
πŸ‘︎ 490
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yoavieden
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Remember Matt Damon?

I met a stranger oβ€Œβ€Œn tβ€Œβ€Œhe tβ€Œβ€Œube tβ€Œβ€Œhe oβ€Œβ€Œther dβ€Œβ€Œay. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he sβ€Œβ€Œaid, "β€Œβ€ŒRemember Matt Damon".

That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".

But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy tβ€Œβ€Œapped oβ€Œβ€Œn mβ€Œβ€Œy bedroom wβ€Œβ€Œindow, aβ€Œβ€Œt 1β€Œβ€Œ1.30 pm last nβ€Œβ€Œight. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "β€Œβ€ŒRemember Matt Damon."

My conversation with the police then went like this:

Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.

Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?

Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.

It wasn’t very poplar.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I ate a clock yesterday

It was very time consuming

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnybou
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?

Ay bring ham, Lincoln.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Keepscrollin-u
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I hop everyone has a hoppy Valentine’s Day!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ileisen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
It's a shame there aren't more jokes for arborists...

I guess they aren't a very poplar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XOIIO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a pirate's favorite car?

A Toyota Yaaaris

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chickencereal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Snowbank

I keep my money in a snowbank. I went to make a withdrawl, but it turns out I have snow money.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skithiryx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
🚨︎ report
So I got fired from my job recently....

I was wearing a frog costume which got me fired. Turns out, I kermit-ted a crime

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ash_Holes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Forrest Gump's favorite type of pasta?

Penn-ay

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrT1ddl3s_II
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If Asian food has umami, then what does Mexican food have?

Ay papi!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommylovesGames
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My teacher wants a report on America....

So I wrote an U-Ess-ay

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kool_Aid_Turtle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How to briefly describe everything about an acorn.

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buglepost
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
So I’m trying to work on tree puns

I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmiddleton6
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a Pine tree's favorite fruit?

A Pine-apple!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theycallmeb77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the cranberry dress up as for Halloween?

A zombay-ay-ay

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petersk8008
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my son while he was cooking breakfast this morning

My son asked me "Where's the chili powder?"

I replied "Right next to the Argentina powder."

To his credit, he slitted his eyes and intoned "I said 'chill-EE' powder, not 'chill-AY' powder, Dad."

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Who enforces cheese standards in Mexico?

The Cheddarales (ched-er-AHL-ays).

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/molotok_c_518
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Astronomy Dad Joke

I was doing some stargazing with my telescope Saturday night, since it was a good time to view Uranus. When I was done, I carried my telescope inside and my brother says "What were you looking for?" I made a point to say it like 'Ur-uh-nus'.

Dad walks into the room as I am leaving and asks my brother what I was looking for. Inevitably, my brother replies 'Ur-ay-nus'.

Dad quips to me down the hall: "Leave your brother alone and look for your own!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kosmosouthern
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2015
🚨︎ report
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?

Ay, bring ham, Lincoln

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.