Stolen from the Atlas and Craftsman Lathes page on FB. Too good not to share.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonickid101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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I’m really pissed that my friend stole my antique atlas.

It really means the world to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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They say Atlas was the quiet, solemn type.

Always acting like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Co-worker was talking about getting her atlas adjusted at the chiropractor

I told her that when my atlas hurts, I just shrug it off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeanzelini
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
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Have a riot at this pun
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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For years I was searching for a book with all kind of maps.

Atlas, I found it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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How did Ayn Rand's C1 vertebrae become misaligned?

Atlas Shrugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alias-Freude
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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After finishing making the first map of the world, the guy exclaimed...

"Atlas"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MEraser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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It's World Book Day...

Or as I call it, Atlas Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriedLime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Ayn Walk and 4 Miles This Way

Had a couple noteworthy ones from my dad in the last few days.

First: I'm carrying a couple of books around, one of which happens to be Atlas Shrugged. My dad sees and asks me, "What are you reading Ayn Walk?" I shoot him a quizzical look and an "Uhh... Wut?" He explains, "Well it's not Ayn Ran(d), it's Ayn Walk!" /facepalm

Then today we happened to pass by a sign for the town of Bruce, WA (whose name my dad shares) which showed the direction and how far away it is. I point it out to my dad saying, "Look, Bruce, 4 miles that way!" Dad replies, "Ah yes that's good but they got it wrong, it should say Bruce 4 miles this way!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tofuuti
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
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