people ask me why i only type dad jokes using lower case letters
look, i stopped giving a shift a long time ago
The joke that got me arrested. I got pulled over by the police. When he got to my window he asked me if I knew why he pulled me over. I said "You wanted to ask me to the (city-name) Police Ball charity event?".
With a confused but serious look the officer replied "The (city-name) Police Department doesn't have any balls sir". After my brief chuckle he used the force to arrest me. Not the light force or the dark force. He used excessive force. The light sabers are black and made of wood but they really hurt. The force was strong with that one.
People ask me why I named my dog "peeve"
I tell them because that's my pet peeve.
The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?
They had UV protection in front.
I spent hours cutting this ladies lawn, and then she refused to pay me. When I ask why, she said
"Because we are married!"
Whenever someone tells me they’ve got a shih tzu, I ask them why they didn’t get a better one
Maybe I shouldn’t be worried about the dogma
My gastroenterologist called me to ask why I hadn’t completed the tests that he ordered.
I told him I didn’t give a shit.
If you ask me why I’m going to Taco Bell…
I tried to ask Alexa why she never listens to me
but I think there must have been a Bad Echo in the room.
People often ask me why I am willing to build barriers preventing the flow of water for anyone who asks...
I tell them it's because I give a dam.
A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.
I said "It's a long story".
Went to the petrol station the other day to put air in my tires and they wanted to charge me £4 for it, so I went inside to ask why its so expensive...
"inflation", is what the guy said
People ask me why you so thin
People ask me why I hate grapes
People ask me why I still work as a mailman,on such low salary.
I tell them : "Its not about the money; Its about sending a message"
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
People ask me why I keep bring my sled to places like yard sales and the flea market
I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!
My friends ask me why do I see the world with so much negativity.
I tell them that I am short-sighted.
My kids ask me why I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it.
I say, "Because there may be a salad dressing."
It's the opposite day and my friend challenges me in tic tac toe. when it's his turn, he grabs the pencil by his foot. I ask him why and he responds:
"I'm playing the toe tactic"
People ask me why the notepad on my desk never moves
I tell them it’s stationary
People always ask me why I made a hip hop album about yogurt.
I tell them that I did it for the culture.
So I was passing by a cemetery with my dad today, and he turns to me and goes, "You know, people living in Denver can't be buried there" and I look at him and ask him "Why?"
He looks at me and says "Because they aren't dead yet".
People ask me why I don’t go out much anymore, but I tell them it’s because I just bought a pet cow.
I have been milking that excuse for weeks now.
People always ask me why I buy so many chips...
I say "why should you care? Its nacho business"
People ask me why I keep tabs on people I just met.
Well, how else are supposed to pay for their drinks?
People often ask me why I became an editor.
Well, to cut a long story short....
Don't ask me why I have diarrhoea
My friends sometime ask me why I yell at them all the time over instant message about this amazing new business opportunity I’m involved in that I’m really excited about! They also ask me if maybe if shift key on my keyboard is broken.
But I reply “NO I AM A CAPITALIST”
Don't ask me why I refuse to answer questions.
People often ask me why I study economics
And I tell them because if it doesn't make sense it doesn't makes dollars
Why do people ask me about where I see myself in a year?
I don't have 20/20 vision
People ask me why I don't wear Heelys.
Some people ask me why I never hold a grudge.
I’ve always hated those people.
People always ask me why I named my son "Underwear".
I tell them he's the Fruit of the Womb.
My friends ask me why my cows have no legs
It's cause I sell ground beef
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