Because Jeans run in a family
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
Bump…
Bump…
Bump…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.
Faster…
Faster…
FASTER…
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.
Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup as the casket!
And…
The coffin stops….
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Oh, wait! Yes you are, that's why you are online dating.
A macauliflower
I really need to borrow some chairs.
Begone, thoughts
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.
I don’t know what his angle is.
He must also have peanut butter.
She's apparently not a Ford F-series fan.
Some would say I'm living the dream.
It’s my secret ‘stache.
A Uni-Corn.
that's shellfish."
because two of them together would be a paradox.
He was banking on his friends to do it
Because he was Lone Lee
Personally I think that is just ignore ants.
Accordion to himself, he’s great
Because you need a pair of trunks to swim
A babe-bee.
I am this close to naming my volleyball!
Haven’t spoken to anyone this whole year
He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home.
He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite.
The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance.
Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.
...is a real pun-ishment.
One was assaulted
I can’t take the stares.
Please let me know....I need to borrow some chairs.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
