I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.

I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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What do you call an overly affectionate avocado?

An avocuddle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Syuriix
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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My wife has come.to expect my dad jokes, but she didn't see this one coming.

I have an Xterra that I affectionately call Alexis.

"With all the off road stuff on the Xterra, I think it needs a more butch sounding name."

"Like what?"

"Liam."

"Liam?! You can't just change her name like that."

"Yeah, Liam Nissan."

I thought her eyes were going to fall out she rolled them so hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ensign_Ricky_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2017
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When I eat alphabet soup I only eat the A E I O U (and sometimes Y) out of it

So later I can have a nice big vowel movement. 😎 Affectionately, Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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The World Health Organization is hosting a new event to show their thoughtfulness and concern for human health

The event will be affectionately named WHO Cares

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πŸ‘€︎ u/197708156EQUJ5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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It was so bad I had to push her away from me.

So the other week the lady and I went for a hike up in the Berkeley Hills and we came across some cows. There were two cows that were affectionate towards each other and their hair colors matched ours (she has red hair, I have black) and she said oh look, that's us if we were cows!

Fast forward to this morning. We were lazy getting out of bed (one too many fernets last night) and I mentioned we should pay a visit to our cow buddies.

She replies with the biggest shit eating grin I've ever seen her do: "Dont you mean our COW-nterparts?!"

I had to push her off me and get outta bed after that one. (Mostly jealous that I didn't think of it)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/issu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
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Laying on each other's side of the bed with the lady.

Me: You're being rather affectionate tonight. What's gotten into you?

Her: I don't know. Maybe I'm seeing a different side of you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleRonnie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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