Affair Puns

We're doing it behind her front.

They had to denominator.

He called it, "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza"

it was quite the sandal.

I told her it was one night stand...

I said to my cheating wife "Let's settle this in affair explanation!" She said "OK. I cheated on you because your heart were as cold as the North Poll!" I looked at her then said "I'm diss a pointed..."

As if i care who that Guy F××××s.

They cantaloupe.

Could say she was an old phlegm

I said alphabetically or by age

It was an odd love triangle...

It’s amazing the lengths it will go to please me.

He seems miserable lately

But I’m just grasping at straws here.

We've moved 250 miles north and we've still got the same window cleaner!

I said 'How could you say such a thing?'.

My youngest was watching Netflix, deciding on a few episodes of Captain Underpants. In one particular episode, the titled character is forced to share a room with a clown. My wife, watching this show, laughs about him having Coulrophobia (Fear of clowns), and repeatedly panicking in subsequent scenes. Finally near the episode, she asks ,"What did that clown ever do to him?"

My response: "Nothing. He's It's Cousin. Pound Foolish"

Wife stares at me. Blinks twice. Goes back to watching the TV that has more comedy than her idiot husband

Now I'm going to have to switch Jims

It's the icing on the cake.

"Yes," I said. "It's when someone is disloyal to their partner."

I was describing a movie to my dad earlier today, and mentioned that the main character had an affair. He replied saying “no, he definitely didn’t have an affair, he's completely bald!”