I think planks are absolutely hot

(Science joke)

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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Gee gee gaa gaa
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Chance of getting the job? Absolute zero.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Why does the sun have no need to go to college?

It already has 27 million degrees...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParallaxMusician
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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I was on a roll last night.

My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:

Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)

Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )

Then during bathtime:

Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)

Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)

Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)

Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolutely killed)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dat_asthma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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