My son asked why sStar Wars movies came out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3…
I answered in my best yoda impersonation: ‘in charge of scheduling, I was’
My son loved it, I heard a sigh from my SO, and when I looked at her, she just shook her head.
I just got into a brutal fight the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.
The odds were against me.
I got into an argument with my daughter and she shouted, "1, 3, 5, 7, 9!"
I asked her, "What's that supposed to mean?"
She said, "I'm so mad, I can't even!"
1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9 don't like 5
Because 5 is mean to them
A man goes to his doctor and says I lost 1/5 of my spine
I never trusted the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11….
There’s just something odd about them. But the numbers 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and 12 are even worse than them.
I asked for 1.5 ounces of free liquor, but the bartender said no.
Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
I keep all my spare change in a wire box. My 1 cent coins, my 10 cent coins, my 25 cent coins, even my 50 cent and dollar coins. But never my 5 cent coins.
Because it's my Nickel-less Cage.
Step 1: Name your dog 5 miles.
Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
My wife put food in front of our 1.5 yr old
She said "say your prayer"
He said "Prayer" then just smirked at her
So proud right now.
I heard my teenager mumbling in her sleep. She kept repeating, "1,3,5,7,9"
Literally she can't even.
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
Why do 1, 2, 3, 5, and 7 keep attacking me?
What do 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 do when they’re angry?
Why can’t the number 5 perform sexually when number 1 is on top?
Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread
D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
The parade has been on for more than 1.5 minutes and now I'm confused...
... because at the beginning, the announcer clearly said "Welcome to the 90-second Thanksgiving Day parade!"
1. Cockadoodle 2. Yabba Dabba 3. Voo 4. Sea 5. Didgeri
Went to the local deli and ordered 1 lb of Swiss. The clerk gave me 3.5 lb instead.
I guess he went ham on that Swiss.
When I was in high school, our prank was to release pigs with 1,3 and 5 painted on them.
After looking for 2 and 4 like crazy they thought...... That's odd
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails £1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...
"Once upon a time there was this
lobster..."
I told my dad, “Did you know that 1 out of 5 kids today faces hunger?”
Dad: Someone should turn that 5th kid around.
I had a dream about 1, 3 and 5 last night...
Just went in a fight against 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9
i got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5 and 7
I was scared because the odds were against me.
Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?
Because in charge of scheduling Yoda was.
I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
I just got stabbed by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9
The odds were against me!
I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9
The odds were against me.
I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.
The odds were against me.
Why did Episodes 4, 5 and 6 come out before 1, 2 and 3?
In charge of scheduling Yoda was.
I keep all my spare change in a wire box. My 1 cent coins, my 10 cent coins, my 25 cent coins, even my 50 cent and dollar coins. But never my 5 cent coins.
Because it's my Nickel-less Cage.
I challenged number 1 to a fight, but he bought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda: In charge of scheduling, I was.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
Edit: Thanks so much!! This is my first award!
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
Why did Star Wars 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3?
Because in charge of the schedule Yoda was.
I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.
The odds were against me.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence. Yoda was.
So, the other day I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9.
This joke ends in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 3, 2, 1
It’s a four-gone conclusion.
This week’s winning lottery numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
I mean, what are the odds?
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