Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9
The odds were not in my favor
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.
The odds were against me.
What do 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 do when they’re angry?
Why did Episodes 4, 5 and 6 come out before 1, 2 and 3?
In charge of scheduling Yoda was.
Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread
D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
Why can’t the number 5 perform sexually when number 1 is on top?
A mom angrily told her 4 year old son to say counting if he wanted to get his lunch. So the boy started... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10...
I don't think he need that lunch anymore. He already 8
Last night I got beat up by the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.
I guess the odds were against me.
Why do 1, 2, 3, 5, and 7 keep attacking me?
Step 1: Name your dog 5 miles.
Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
Went to the local deli and ordered 1 lb of Swiss. The clerk gave me 3.5 lb instead.
I guess he went ham on that Swiss.
I heard my teenager mumbling in her sleep. She kept repeating, "1,3,5,7,9"
Literally she can't even.
1. Cockadoodle 2. Yabba Dabba 3. Voo 4. Sea 5. Didgeri
My wife put food in front of our 1.5 yr old
She said "say your prayer"
He said "Prayer" then just smirked at her
So proud right now.
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails £1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...
"Once upon a time there was this
lobster..."
When I was in high school, our prank was to release pigs with 1,3 and 5 painted on them.
After looking for 2 and 4 like crazy they thought...... That's odd
The parade has been on for more than 1.5 minutes and now I'm confused...
... because at the beginning, the announcer clearly said "Welcome to the 90-second Thanksgiving Day parade!"
I told my dad, “Did you know that 1 out of 5 kids today faces hunger?”
Dad: Someone should turn that 5th kid around.
Son: Dad, did you know that 1 out of 5 children in the world still face hunger?
Dad: Why isn’t anybody turning the 5th kid around?
5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1 how many do you have left?
Zero. The rest would fly away.
Statistics say you are most likely to get in a car accident within 1.5 km of your house.
1,3,5,7,9,11,13,15,17
This might seem odd but I can't even
Probably 1/5 people make up random statistics.
Why did the mathematician get stoned on 1/5?
My husband started counting to the neighborhood kids - 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and then asked the kids what he was doing....
Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9
The odds were not in my favor
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda: In charge of scheduling, I was.
I challenged number 1 to a fight, but he bought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
Edit: Thanks so much!! This is my first award!
I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.
The odds were against me.
Why did Star Wars 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3?
Because in charge of the schedule Yoda was.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence. Yoda was.
This joke ends in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 3, 2, 1
It’s a four-gone conclusion.
I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
I had a dream about 1, 3 and 5 last night...
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
“Dad, did you know that 1 out of every 5 kids today still face hunger?”
Dad: Why isn’t somebody turning that kid around?
So, the other day I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9.
This week’s winning lottery numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
I mean, what are the odds?
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9..9.1...9.2...9.3.. Are you counting?', they asked.
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