BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board

Whoops, wrong sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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The Pillsbury Doughboy died.

His funeral will be held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 327
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams...

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"

"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.

"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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dead meme here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyvic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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A man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method

A young man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method. He designs everything himself, hires people to create models, and deduces that he can use old fashioned boating technology to increase shipping speeds by up to 350%. This is obviously a great innovation, so he calls up a former Business professor from college and gets into contact with a manufacturer. The manufacturer makes the man come in and present his design to the board of directors, so they schedule a meeting in two weeks.

At the meeting, the board is blown away. The man’s charisma, design, and equations all point to a massive innovation in shipping. The company is poised to make a huge profit. Construction starts immediately.

On his flight back, the man happens to sits next to his old buddy from high school, Jimmy. Jimmy tells the man that he has just blown the farming world wide open. His new GMO potato produces five times as much energy and has been the talk of the world. Jimmy says that all the news outlets have been reporting potatoes to be the next big superfood, and his design is poised to make him millions, if not billions of dollars. Jimmy pitches the man for the entire plane ride, and convinced him. They hop on the next flight back to visit the board of directors once again. The board is shocked. Both ideas stand to make billions of dollars for the company, but there is one slight problem.

The CEO says to the man, β€œwe know you have these two ideas. However, we can only allocate enough resources to make one of them profitable. I recommend you take some time off and really decide which of these ideas you want our company to produce. We can schedule a meeting in a few weeks if that works for you.”

The man says right back to the CEO, β€œI’m going to take a walk and clear my head. This is a big decision” and walks right out of the room.

Not even five seconds later the man comes back into the room and says β€œI’ve made my decision. Let’s go with the shipping method.” This shocks the CEO, who says β€œare you sure?? This is a billion dollar decision and you only took five seconds to think about it.”

The man looks back at him and says β€œwell, in this business time is moneyβ€” so I decided to make my decision schooner rather than tater”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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Dad, is than an octopus?

SO and I were walking in Port Angeles, WA near the octopus statue made out of small rocks and pebbles... and we overheard this conversation between a kid and his dad:

> Dad, is that an octopus?

> No, son, that's a rock-topus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockSniffer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2015
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Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"

"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.

"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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