I burnt 2600 calories yesterday!

I forgot the tray of brownies in the oven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/royaj77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
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Qatar has been announced as the hosts for the Olympics 581 years from now.

It’ll be known as the Qatari 2600

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Proudie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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Long con to a classic dadjoke on my kindergartener

This morning, my 5 year old (Definitely not really named H) and I were discussing the hardships of having to attend (all-day) kindergarten nearly every day (on his third day). So, we applied some estimates and came up with the following:

Me: "So, there are about 200 days you go to school this year. And, since you're in kindergarten, you have at least 13 years of school. So you have about 2600 days of school left. At least."

H: "...Okay..."

Me: "But, do you have to do a week of school today? Or just one day?"

H: "Just one."

Me: "Right. And you can handle one day. You've already done that twice, and you liked them both."

H: "Yeah."

Me: "So, you can handle this, right? Just one day at a time."

H: "Yeah, I can do that."

Me: "So, do you want to hear a dumb joke?"

H: "Sure."

Me: "How do you eat an elephant?"

H: "What?! I dunno."

Me: "One bite at a time."

[H groans, flops down on the bed, and starts maybe-playfully kicking at me]

Me: "Hey, I told you it was a dumb joke."

H: "But I didn't think it would be that dumb."

Me: "You should know by now that if I say it's dumb, it's really dumb. Now, get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs."

[H invokes his future-teenager self and groans me out of the room]

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
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