Holiday and end of last year pun, recycled
Ideas for months of the year puns?
Hi, could someone help me out with puns for the months of the year? January was Jan-new-ary, February was Feb-boo-ary, etc.
Just April would be great and if possible, the rest of the year
An actual joke from my 8 year old - Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
I was proud.
What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
From my 10 year old son: Why did the coffee taste like dirt?
My 8 year old finished eating dinner
8yo: "There, I ate!"
Me [points at 9yo]: "Good job! She nine."
8yo: 🤔?
9yo: "Ugh. Because I'm nine and you're eight. You ate. I nine?"
8yo: "Daaaad!"
This year's Fibonacci Convention was a great success.
It was as big as the last two combined!
From my 8 year old: Dad, how do camels hide from predators?
Me: Their fur is the same color as the desert so they blend in.
Her: Exactly! They camel-flage!
I walked right into that one lol
My 5 year old got me with this one:
5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
5yo: To get to the dummy's house.
Me:...
5yo:...
Me:...
5yo: Knock Knock.
Me: Who's there?
5yo: The chicken.
It’s been years since the show ended, and I’m a little annoyed that people are still making ‘Friends’ references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
In honor of former president Donald J. Trump
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
An original from my 5 year old daughter: Why was the egg itchy?
Because it had egg-zema.
She's suffered from eczema since she was a baby and I'm glad she can find humor in it.
From my 5 year old mind: “Why is trash always sad ?”
Because it’s down in the dumps! 😂
How do you buy a cat, if the pet store is closed.( Made by my 5 year old niece)
You buy it from the cat-alogue
The name of next year is literally
A darker one my 10 year old dropped on me... (possibly triggering)
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
My friend told me I could make six figures a year by becoming a sculptor
He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled.
My wife is pissed at me. I made hard boiled eggs for breakfast this morning and let our 2 year old help peel them and he made a mess
I have been walking on eggshells ever since.
From my 7 year old - why was the egg covered in ink?
Because it was being ink-cubated
He came up with this one on his own after hearing another one on this sub.
My 3 year old made this joke, I don't see it ever mentioned online
What is a cow's favorite drink?
A:a smoooothie
From my 3yo: what do you call a 100-year-old ant?
It’s my 3 year Reddit anniversary!
Getting karma should be as easy as cake.
Guys, I have been thinking about selling my Theremin.
I haven't touched it in years.
I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...
my new years resolution is
Is this sub still active?
Haven't seen anyone post all year!
(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)
How many seconds are there in a year.
12 second
Edit1: Since so many of you guys are confused, it's like January second, February second and so on.
Edit2: No 22nd doesn't count.
Why was the 2 year old antivaxx kid depressed?
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"
"I don't know, bud, what?"
"Your legs."
Well done, kid.
My 5 year old got me (her dad) with a dad joke
Where do hamburgers go when they want to dance?
A meat ball!
For the past five years, I’ve said that i’m going to start jogging, but I never have
It’s starting to become a running joke at this point
My wife spent years perfecting blue box macaroni and cheese.
It took a long time, but she finally honed her Kraft.
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.
Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? (courtesy of a 9 year old)
My wife ran over someone , and was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment.
She got out after 5 years and I had to serve the remaining 5.
We always finish each others sentences.
2020 and 2021 were fighting for the "Worst Year Ever" award.
What are your resolution going to be for the new year?
Still on 1080p? or upgraded to 4k already?
Today I finally graduate after 8 years..
I've been reading so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently, that I've made a firm new year's resolution..
Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown
So you can start the New Year off on the right foot
Edit: Thanks for the silver
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
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