My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet

Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"

Proud dad moment!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelprstn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
He’s not wrong...
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carcrazy2017
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad: what do you do when you are in the wrong seat?

I stand corrected

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dengsta
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Am I wrong?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postpuns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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You’re never wrong when you write
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Is it wrong to hate a certain race??

Because my knees can take 5K’s any more

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Branden_the_Dj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
πŸ˜‚the accuracy...πŸ’₯
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimcyrus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...

... and as you can see, they were Wright

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever Since 2020 It Just Feels Wrong That...

"Every Breath You Take" is a song by a band called The Police.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OranMilne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?

It's shredded cabbage

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loloPogi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
"All you're doing is listening to what I say to tell me I'm wrong!"

"Maybe you're right."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthSeatb3lt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What was wrong with the wooden car?

It wooden go

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally used the wrong straw in my wife’s water bottle and broke it. She asked me to show her. I said...

This is the straw that broke the Camelback

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassMan2511
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what’s wrong about sharing COVID dad jokes?

It may take you two weeks to get it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/furbiever
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I don’t know what’s wrong with my family.

They haven’t spoken to me all year!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
So the wife told me I that should know by now she's never wrong.

Is that Korean? High Never Wrong, you should know by now I'm Chris!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you think 2020’s done with you? Well you’re wrong!

Because next year is 2022

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I brought over the wrong pastries to my relatives' house for Christmas brunch

Now I'm stuck with a bunch of cross-aunts

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saltycook
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Throwing acid is wrong...

...in some people’s eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bolorwithaK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:

Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?

Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?

oh wait.........

Credit goes to Matt from Studio C

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lickedy_Split_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...

Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I just printed out a bunch of pamphlets on how to avoid saying the wrong things and getting into a fight.

Who wants some?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davebelieves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
They're building a mirror factory in my town.

I could definitely see myself working there.

πŸ‘︎ 316
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a typo on a headstone?

A grave mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sheikh_potato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...

shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, he's not wrong
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingDaedalus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Man, I swear something is wrong with my left hand.

It never does anything right.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cold_sphagetti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Well he’s not wrong
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Tag-und Nacht
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roof-Patient
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.

He’ll come around, eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Nothing goes wrong on my watch
πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nashyj495
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I share the same sense of humour.

We have to....She doesn't have one.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dentist remove the wrong tooth?

He didn’t mean to, he did it acciDENTALly

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Endersgaming4066
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I am positive that there is something wrong with Quasimodo's back

Or it could be just a hunch

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I took my son to see Santa today, but as soon as he sat on his knee he started crying. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's this job! I hate it!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list

Now I can't read anything.

πŸ‘︎ 368
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sm-aug
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Uh oh... Emergency: you brought me the wrong tool...

This is not a drill... I repeat, this is not a drill!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunetikPrugresiv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,

it doesn't Go Straight.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Haycutter69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.

The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
You're damn right it will
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/giftsamuel_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a phobia of using the wrong amounts of ingredients when I’m cooking

So I’ve been taking measures to deal with it

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theleowest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...

shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law?

It’s thinly sliced cabbage

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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