My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
Dad: what do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
You’re never wrong when you write
Is it wrong to hate a certain race??
Because my knees can take 5K’s any more
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
... and as you can see, they were Wright
Ever Since 2020 It Just Feels Wrong That...
"Every Breath You Take" is a song by a band called The Police.
Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?
"All you're doing is listening to what I say to tell me I'm wrong!"
What was wrong with the wooden car?
I accidentally used the wrong straw in my wife’s water bottle and broke it. She asked me to show her. I said...
This is the straw that broke the Camelback
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
Do you know what’s wrong about sharing COVID dad jokes?
It may take you two weeks to get it.
I don’t know what’s wrong with my family.
They haven’t spoken to me all year!
So the wife told me I that should know by now she's never wrong.
Is that Korean? High Never Wrong, you should know by now I'm Chris!
Did you think 2020’s done with you? Well you’re wrong!
Because next year is 2022
I brought over the wrong pastries to my relatives' house for Christmas brunch
Now I'm stuck with a bunch of cross-aunts
Throwing acid is wrong...
...in some people’s eyes.
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
I just printed out a bunch of pamphlets on how to avoid saying the wrong things and getting into a fight.
This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
They're building a mirror factory in my town.
I could definitely see myself working there.
What do you call a typo on a headstone?
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
Man, I swear something is wrong with my left hand.
It never does anything right.
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around, eventually.
Nothing goes wrong on my watch
My wife and I share the same sense of humour.
We have to....She doesn't have one.
Why did the dentist remove the wrong tooth?
He didn’t mean to, he did it acciDENTALly
I am positive that there is something wrong with Quasimodo's back
Or it could be just a hunch
I took my son to see Santa today, but as soon as he sat on his knee he started crying. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"It's this job! I hate it!"
My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list
Now I can't read anything.
Uh oh... Emergency: you brought me the wrong tool...
This is not a drill... I repeat, this is not a drill!
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.
The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.
You're damn right it will
I have a phobia of using the wrong amounts of ingredients when I’m cooking
So I’ve been taking measures to deal with it
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage
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