I got a job as a ghost writer.
What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on the same book for years?
Who called it “Writer’s Block” and not “First Word Problems”?
Being a writer
Kid: dad, i wanna be a writer one day.
Dad: then you better start eating fish.
Kid: i never heard of any writer growing up eating fish.
Dad: Salmon rushdie
I started writing a windowsill garden herb book, but stopped because of writer's block.
It's about thyme, I'll get back to it.
My teenage daughter can't decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer...
I guess she'll have to flip a coin....Heads or Tales.
Why don't escaped convicts make good writers?
Because they never finish their sentences
I feel bad for writers who’s stories happen in space.
No mater how good they write the scene there’s just no atmosphere.
What does a nervous knight and a writer have in common?
After all these years, I've sent in the forms to officially become a writer.
Why was the robot with legs that couldn’t bend a bad writer?
Best name for an architect?
Bill Ding
Best name for a used car dealer that doesn't have titles for his cars?
Bill O. Sale
Who is the most famous cockney children book writer?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
Only takes one nail to hang the picture.
What state has the most writers?
What do you call a joke writer with no butt?
What's it like to be a writer in prison?
It's got it's prose and cons
Adam turned out to be a pretty good writer…
If you’re a fan of first-person narrative.
There's a sitcom about marathons
Have the courage to tell your bibliophile S/O their lactose intolerance makes no sense, because as we all know…
Why do troll writers hate editors so much?
Trolls prefer their works unda-bridged.
I am walking out on the job today
Because of the writers str
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in most of the way and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
Writer's block can drive you to drink
What did the gynecologist say to his wife Jennifer, the writer?
Drove past the cemetery the other day and saw these 4 guys running up and down the road carrying a coffin.
I think they've lost the plot.
Why did the man write his novel in his basement?
He wanted it to become a Best Cellar
What do you call a writer you can trust?
Why are pigs the best writers?
Why are pigs the best writers? Because they spend their whole life by a pen.
Original!
What do you call a bottom writer?
Writers often struggle with tenses.
When they have to make a past principle tense, it gets in-tense.
What do you call a bunch of writers on a boat?
Came to this sub to praise this rye Twitter writer: A true hero.
I'm not having any luck writing movies about bodily functions.
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There was Diarrhea, but few are showing up at the theaters to watch it because movie pirates leaked it and it came out early.
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Constipation gave me writer's block, so it hasn't come out yet.
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I'm losing my mind trying to write Insanity.
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Copulation was a success, but I still haven't gotten paid. So I was screwed.
Today I learned: The writer Stephen King has a son named Joe.
I’m not joking, but he is.
Lots of folks know the famous Greek writers like Socrates, Sophocles, and Empedocles. Few know the writer who studied mispronounced words.
Alexander Hamilton was a great writer.
He knew a lot of ten-dollar words.
Why do writers make terrible judges?
Because you get longer sentences.
I can't decide whether to be a hairdresser or a short story writer.
I'll have to flip a coin. Heads or Tales!
My daughter can't decide if she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer....
I guess she'll have to flip a coin....
HEADS OR TALES ?
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