Work Week Puns

The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....

Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!

In short his practice is shrinking.

Because all that's left is WTF.

No hump day

They’re Aachen.

He sent my mom and I this picture looking into his office. A parting joke well done.

https://imgur.com/gallery/Z92Ifjx

We were put onto maintenance detail whilst the line was down, so I’m given a set of overalls to wear. After I threw ‘em on I was asked “how are they for you mate?” I paused and saw my opportunity to prove my ‘dadness’ and replied “overall they’re pretty good!” Cue all the groans from the 15 lads! Yes, nailed it!!!

And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".

The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.

He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.

The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two pints of beer before going home to retire for the weekend.

It is just at that point when the bartender is serving him his second pint that he pauses and looks at the string and says "Hold on one minute! Aren't you a string?"

To which the string replied, "Sorry, I'm a frayed knot".

Sorry for the Saab story.

I accidently worked thru coffee break.....

They told me to stop lying.

Maybe you should be a better doctor”

…is called Two's day? That's the only day of the week for which that works.

I'm already dreading it.

I work at a supplement retail store and usually greet people with "Hey! How are you today? What brings you in today?" and usually people will just tell me what they are looking for. So, I did the same thing to a man ~50 years old today, but instead of the usual response I get, he just responded with "My feet."

10/10. Would be dad-joked again.

Soda pressing.

Ogretime.

At about 3:30...

Worker: Let me know if you have any time before 5 o'clock.

Me (supervisor): I have about 90 minutes.

We now offer a wide selection of smoked goods.

He wanted recognition for all of the effort he Putin.

So I work in a distribution wearhouse for an orange chainsaw company and I work there with my dad.

So a few of the guys in the wearhouse like to wear toques, a winter hat that covers your ears for you non-Canadians, and my dad mentioned this to me as we're heading off to lunch so I say, "well, I guess there are toque kinds of people...". Even my dad groaned.

One of the afore mentioned toque wearing guys was picking a particularly big order consisting of mostly gloves, and he starts complaining that there are too many damn gloves in this order. So I sarcastically replied, "I bet you just gloved picking that order." He just turned around and walked away and didn't speak to me the rest of the day.