Window installer

Never get in a fight with a window installer

They'll bring the pane!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cneuf802
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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Windows not Mac
πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheGenryusai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?

Kurt and Rod

πŸ‘οΈŽ 146
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/greenthegreen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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Why do astronauts use linux?

because you can't open windows in space.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Niyi_M
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.

I said to myself, that’s a little condescending

πŸ‘οΈŽ 114
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awag80
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 752
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/grantthejester
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
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"I argue with windows a lot"

They don't admit you window

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Min3craft-tfarc3niM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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Why don't people like replacing the glass in windows?

Because it's a pane.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2021
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A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day

"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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Egg puns!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/69_BABATUNDE_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.

I turn to her and say β€œI bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”

Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnpowers99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2020
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If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly

Because communication is key

Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chizhi1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?

He said,” All I felt was pane.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mydogisadoglol
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night

The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?

Apparently it was panes taking work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smakattak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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Windows
πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Atg2411
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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Mac now supports Windows
πŸ‘οΈŽ 79
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fatherjon05
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,

That'd be a different story all together.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 295
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Retro_Lancer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake

I guess that's why they call it window pain.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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A man is impaled on a shard of broken window

β€œI can’t imagine the pane you must be going through”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aceto1469
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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What did the Apple OS say to the Windows OS when it wanted to merge?

"Sorry, not PC enough."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LadenStarfish
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore

I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theuserwithoutaname
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
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I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, β€œWindow or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, β€œWindow or you’ll what?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nandos677
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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Why did the window inspector quit his job?

He felt too much pane.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pengwin34
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...

Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
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I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.

I didn’t realize they were pane killers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
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Just happened: my contractor broke a window during our nearly complete renovation

He turned to me and said it's no problem. At this stage it's just a pane.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!

Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flabbergash
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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Why are all the windows screaming?

Because they are in panes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/some_lerker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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The new Windows update deleted Microsoft Edge

We could say it's a cutting edge techology.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/3sxNatuu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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What happened to the men who smashed all the windows in their office building..

They're now facing a glass action lawsuit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AEvans1888
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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I was thrown through a window today.

It was paneful.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TD_KingJason
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
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Why is there no Windows 9?

Cause 7 8 9

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Autistic_Lurker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?

He wanted to see a butter-fly!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
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A donkey just smashed through my window!

What a pane in the ass!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."

I thought β€œWhy would anyone pay to see that?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
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My bedroom now has a stained glass window....

A pigeon just flew right into it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?

It's been logged out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 461
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/World-Tight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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The other day I asked my Dad why he took up window cleaning as a profession

He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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My window cleaner was banging on my window shouting and swearing!

I thought to myself: He’s lost his rag.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
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My wife got mad at me when I opened the window and yelled "Nice rack!"....

... But that buck must have been a 6 pointer!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ampersand12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...

I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said β€œdo you have a police record, sir?” I said:

Roxanne...

Edit-spelling

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Das_Kommandant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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I was in my flat & this tall lady walked past my window.

I knew she was tall....as I live on the 2nd floor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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Do you know why I like windows?

You can always see right through them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anonymous8776
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"

I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03 2020
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A Russian named Rudolph looked out of his window one day and told his wife not to go out without an umbrella. His wife asked ”What makes you say that”?

He replied ”Rudolph the red knows rain dear”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.

He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"

"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pidgeon-eater-69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said

β€œIt looks like it’s going to rain” his wife said how do you know?

He replied β€œRudolph the Red knows rain, dear....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pasd84
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
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