Window installer
Never get in a fight with a window installer
They'll bring the pane!
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Windows not Mac
π︎ 100
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︎ Dec 15 2020
What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.
I said to myself, thatβs a little condescending
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
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︎ Oct 11 2020
"I argue with windows a lot"
They don't admit you window
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Why don't people like replacing the glass in windows?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 24 2021
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife.
"How could you possibly know that?" She asked.
He simply replied,
"Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Egg puns!
π︎ 3k
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Now that Iβm officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say βI bet he donβt have the guts to do that againβ
Edit: holy shit yβall this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
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︎ Aug 04 2020
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
π︎ 12k
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︎ Jan 12 2021
When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?
He said,β All I felt was pane.β
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night
The police arenβt helping because there isnβt enough concrete evidence.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Windows
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Mac now supports Windows
π︎ 79
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
A man is impaled on a shard of broken window
βI canβt imagine the pane you must be going throughβ
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︎ Nov 30 2020
What did the Apple OS say to the Windows OS when it wanted to merge?
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︎ Dec 13 2020
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
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︎ Dec 19 2020
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, βWindow or aisle?β
I laughed in her face and replied, βWindow or youβll what?β
π︎ 20k
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Why did the window inspector quit his job?
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...
Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didnβt realize they were pane killers.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Just happened: my contractor broke a window during our nearly complete renovation
He turned to me and said it's no problem. At this stage it's just a pane.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!
Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"
I thought, "I can't turn that down".
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Why are all the windows screaming?
Because they are in panes.
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 22 2020
The new Windows update deleted Microsoft Edge
We could say it's a cutting edge techology.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
What happened to the men who smashed all the windows in their office building..
They're now facing a glass action lawsuit.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
I was thrown through a window today.
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Why is there no Windows 9?
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
He wanted to see a butter-fly!
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 17 2020
A donkey just smashed through my window!
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 05 2020
I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."
I thought βWhy would anyone pay to see that?β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 10 2020
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?
π︎ 461
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︎ Dec 24 2020
The other day I asked my Dad why he took up window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
My window cleaner was banging on my window shouting and swearing!
I thought to myself: Heβs lost his rag.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
My wife got mad at me when I opened the window and yelled "Nice rack!"....
... But that buck must have been a 6 pointer!
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
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︎ Nov 04 2020
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said βdo you have a police record, sir?β I said:
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︎ Oct 03 2020
I was in my flat & this tall lady walked past my window.
I knew she was tall....as I live on the 2nd floor.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
Do you know why I like windows?
You can always see right through them.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"
I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"
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︎ Sep 03 2020
A Russian named Rudolph looked out of his window one day and told his wife not to go out without an umbrella. His wife asked βWhat makes you say thatβ?
He replied βRudolph the red knows rain dearβ.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.
He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"
"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
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︎ Dec 16 2020
A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said
βIt looks like itβs going to rainβ his wife said how do you know?
He replied βRudolph the Red knows rain, dear....
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 06 2020
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