He was a real neigh sayer.
He replied 'I don't know honey, we all whisper when we' re hoarse'
Because he was a famous neigh-sayer.
Right before he died...
This is from a few years ago, but it's one of my favorite's from my dad:
"So, let me get this straight... he can train all these other dogs, but he can't keep his one bitch in line?"
"Who's thinking outside the box now Gary?"
She looked up and whispered, "They're right behind you".
...but I couldn't catch them all.
Because it's not aloud.
"...has been gathering dirt on us for years!"
it wasn't aloud
Letter B
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”
I look up at the twinkling sky and whisper,
"You guys are the real stars."
A woman is at her husband’s funeral, and asks some friends of her late husband up to the podium to say some things honouring him.
Man 1 walks up to the podium, and says one word: “Plethora.” He steps down and walks by the widow, who says: “Thanks; that means a lot.”
Man 2 now goes up to the podium, and says “Bargain.” Then, as he leaves the podium and walks by the widow, she whispers to him: “Thanks; that means a great deal.”
"Don't look now, but your wife is sitting right behind us."
The guy looked at me in shock and sputtered, "It's just regular porn, you sick perv!"
He whispered to his date, “I have toupeé.”
The priest then turned to her.
"And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
"So I guess you could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve!"
My daughter woke me around 11:50pm last night. My wife and I picked her up from her friend Sally’s birthday party, brought her home and put her to bed. My wife went to the bedroom to read and I fell asleep watching basketball.
“Daddy”, she whispered tugging my shirt.
“Guess how old I’ll be next month?”
“I don’t know, honey.” I said as I slipped on my glasses. “How old?”
She smiled and held up 4 fingers.
It’s now 7:30am. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
They’re just an ear now.
We are playing Scrabble, and she has a Q that she can’t get rid off.
They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn’t think so, it’s on a knead to dough basis."
"What is the second letter of the alphabet?" The teacher asked Ringo. But Ringo wasn't sure.
But because Ringo had found himself in a time of trouble, John came to him and whispered words of wisdom
"Letter B"
“Sure, I’m all ears.”
Me: Why are you whispering?
Dad, still whispering: Stop talking so loudly! You are going to wake it up!
“Now blow the candles”
John Candle and Rick Candle were ecstatic
A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because they’ve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his “promposal” special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!
Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that she’s always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.
The night of the prom, he’s extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesn’t return his feelings? What if she thinks he’s a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.
They get to the prom and he’s even more anxious. It’s dark, it’s loud, it’s crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks it’s finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying she’s always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if she’d like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?
He feels like he’s walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesn’t have to wait too long at the refreshments table.
He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?
There was no punch line.
Who's thinking out of box now Kevin?
But I couldn't catch them all
She look up and whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
She whispered , "They're right behind you..."
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
