Achievement unlocked - Received a handmade "Book o' dad jokes" for this father's day!

My kid surprised me today with a handmade book with dad jokes. Each joke had an associated graphic too as a bonus! I'm so happy I wanted to share the joy with you guys.

These are the 26 jokes (some I've learned from here, but a few of them I've never heard):

  1. I'm afraid for the calendar, its days are numbered.

  2. My wide said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That's a big step forward!

  3. What do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common? They're both Paris sites.

  4. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

  5. A skeleton walks into a bar and says - I'll have a beer and a mop please.

  6. Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.

  7. I don't trust trees, they're too shady.

  8. I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.

  9. Did you hear the rumour about the butter? I did, but I'm not going to spread it!

  10. Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself? Because it was two-tired.

  11. Why did Billy get fired from the banana packaging factory? He kept trowing away the bent ones.

  12. Why was math so sad? Because of all its problems.

  13. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

  14. A guy walks into a bar and got disqualified from the limbo contest.

  15. Have you ever try to catch fog? I did once, but I mist.

  16. Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.

  17. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

  18. I Was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel, but you guys didn't like it.

  19. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

  20. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.

  21. Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.

  22. Why are piggy banks so wise? Because they're filled with common cents.

  23. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.

  24. You know, people say they pick their noses, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

  25. What did zero said to eight? That belt looks great on you.

  26. To whoever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you. You have my word.

I hope you find a few new ones too in this list.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Jun 20 2022
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