My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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The other day I decided to install a highly decorative wall plug in my living room.

I needed a creative outlet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen

I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."

Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mac_OrchardYT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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I plugged in a charger to the wall and my usb c headphone to the charger.

-Dad, what are you doing?

-Listening to AC/DC.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...

Long time fan, first time poster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.

This is because of a-coo-sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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What’s a Wall Street farmer’s favorite thing to invest in?

Corn Stocks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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just a nether brick in the wall
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkblade_e
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: β€œIsn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:

β€œIt’s junk”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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When you roll in from a night out but you're tyred so you just sit down in the garden slumped against the wall
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustardbyname
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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When I was renovating my house, I found a secret stash hidden in the walls.

Someone drew a mustache on the wall behind the wall paper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Dad:”back when I had to do wall-sits in school..”

β€œI had enough and told my gym teacher I couldn’t stand doing them

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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The election is happening in November and Trump will be bragging about the 30 foot wall he built on the Mexican border.

But he probably should have made it much longer than that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/intrepid604
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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My wife was hanging 7 pictures in a row on the wall when I told her should should hang 3 over 4.

It’s created a real division in our home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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Eventually, we’re all doomed to end up in super modern offices where the walls are whiteboards

The writing is on the wall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GabeRothel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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I just fixed the cracks in the wall...

...it looks spack-tacular.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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I found a hole in my wall that I didn't know existed

Me: I never knew that hole was there My Dad: where did you think it was?

I then proceeded to laugh way too much

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stefano9
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2016
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In a one story house the walls are blue, the chairs are blue, the floor is blue, the lights are blue, the living room is blue, the bedrooms are blue, the kitchen is blue, even the air has a blueish tint. What color are the stairs?

The house is ONE STORY it has no stairs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICK-THE-STICk3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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Go make a hole in the corner of the wall...

You know the drill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hybrid_na
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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I insist that the one-sided wall was invented somewhere in Alabama...

I know it was Mobial

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GEEZusChristman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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Who's going to be in charge of Trumps border wall?

The Secretary of da' Fence!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chef_psychonaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
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Whenever I go near my bed in VR it moves 4 feet into the wall...

It must be a Bed bug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishySquashy_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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There was an emergency when I used an impact driver to make a hole in the wall

It was not a drill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yobababi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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Every time we were putting screws in the wall...

Dad would turn on the stud finder, point it at himself and say "Found one!"

Every. Time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Kelvin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
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Another Brick In The Wall

Kids are playing Minecraft, I'm playing random stuff in iTunes:

Daughter: Oh, is this Another Brick in the Wall?

Me: Yep! Pink Floyd.

Son: So is this...

I look over and he has this shit eating grin on his face and is literally laying a brick wall in Minecraft.

Daughter and I roll our eyes and look back at our screens. I'm so proud right now though :)

EDIT: Formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BAKACHEWYCHOMP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2015
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My dad put one out there about the salt wall collapse in Chicago

He said it was a Na-tural disaster.

I linked him here

Relevant link: http://abc7chicago.com/news/morton-salt-collapse-covers-cars-at-acura-dealership/455616/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4ourfeathers
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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Mom was in the living room hammering a nail in the wall to hang a frame...

...and she says "I think I hit a stud."

My dad yells out from the kitchen "That's funny, I didn't feel anything!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaden_____Smith
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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During renovation works in my friend's appartment, they wrapped the elevator. People went into a dadjoke competition on the cardboard walls. (Link to imgur album in text)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/so_contemporary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
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We discussed Robert Frost's "Mending Wall" today in Lit

Me: so I guess you could say he rides the fence about fences.

Classmate: and he doesn't want anyone to take offence about it.

Me: I gate what you're saying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zubat_Breeder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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While fixing a crack in my grandfather's wall

My mom: "George, you're just making it worse!"

Dad: "He's all cracked up."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qtacsb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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There's a hole in the nudist camp's wall

The police are looking into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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A hole has been found in the wall of a nudist colony.

The police are looking into it

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ugh_wasps
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
🚨︎ report
There's a hole in the nudist colony wall.

Police are looking into it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shashybaws
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2016
🚨︎ report

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