Vitamin D gives me so much energy...

It should really be called Vitamin A+!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What is Richard Simmons doing in my house?

I didn't in-vitamin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.

also in the news:

Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why don’t oranges go around blind?

Because they take Vitamin See.

I will see myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My neighbor knocked on my door looking for some nutrients and my daughter asked me what to do

I said "well don't just stand there, in vitamin"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDewinYourMom
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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A shark tried eating a boat but he didn’t like it

Didn’t have enough vitamin sea

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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What do you do when a supplement knocks on your door?

You in"vitamin"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bignug420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Got my wife.

Back story: our kids get flintstone vitamins. She did grocery pick up today.

She got home and was frustrated that they were "flintstones with iron". To which I responded, "Iron? I assumed they would be made of bedrock!"

She did not appreciate it as much as I did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marriedwithkids96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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How does an orange give birth?

By vitamin C section

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeek-lukhulu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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Why shouldn’t you give a vampire a supplement?

You don’t want to vitamin...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Vitamin C

Is Spanish for Vitamin Yes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HassanMoRiT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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What kind of vitamin improves your eyesight?

Vitamin see!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyMarkGamer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.

Vitamin Sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbra
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Why did James Cagney drink so much orange juice?

For the vitamin, see?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GRWeston
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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What is commonly prescribed for blindness?

Vitamin C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AH135i
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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How do you tell if your dietitian is unqualified?

He'll recommend you take more vitamin F

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theriloki
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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A friend of mine sells supplements for a living and he stopped by the house. My wife answered the door.

I yelled to her to go ahead and vitamin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heavyduty1930
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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How come pirates are always getting scurvy?

Don’t they know there’s vitamin sea all around them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdgarAllan_BR0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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How do you make a hormone?

Vitamin D.

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/7cfv7w/til_that_vitamin_d_is_actually_a_hormone_and_can/dpquhkh/?context=3

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SurrealDad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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People are always taking about all the vitamins...

But vitamin Y?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurtleLvr69
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you want to be for halloween?

Dad: Hey (insert name), what do you want to be for halloween? Stepbrother: I don't know Dad: what about a vitamin, I saw a sign that said "Vitamin B1" Car ride home was only silence from then on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhaleSixx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Why is honey good for you?

It's full of Bee vitamins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorSexy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2017
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What kind of supplements does Mario Batali use?

Molto-Vitamins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeFindMeGilbert
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
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A friend of mine is failing his Spanish class

I told him he needed more Vitamin Si.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HotEspresso
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2014
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Been waiting to drop this.

So, recently my SO got some Vitamin C supplement and the brand is called Emergen-C.

SO drinks the supplement and I start panicking. SO: What's wrong?! Me: You're in an emgency situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cratoreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
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I had food poisoning last night...

My girlfriend gave me some vitamin water to drink. I drank some and immediately needed to lay down. She said," it's not going to sit well if you don't stay up for a bit." I said," I know but it will lay well." Ha. Ha. Merry Christmas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApathyApple
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
🚨︎ report
And the whole room rolls its eyes

Group of us hanging out after class

Friend A: "I slept in till two today"

Me: "You missed all the sunlight! How do you get your Vitamin D?

Friend A: "I had a big plate of eggs after I woke up"

Friend B: "Eggs have Vitamin D?"

Me : "I guess if you cook them sunny side up"

You know you have a great dad joke when you are the only one in the room laughing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/momo_303
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you do with the nutrients at your door?

Vitamin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yank_eh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Oranges improves your eyesight

Because it contains Vitamin See

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linzihan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Vitamin C...

is Spanish for Vitamin Yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinyMeesh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
You know what vitamin is the most helpful for eyesight?

Vitamin See

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Threeatatime1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What vitamin is best for failing eyesight?

Vitamin See.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad said this at dinner.

What is the best vitamin for your eyes? Vitamin C!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BananaJuicePl0x
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2013
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