Only a low ha.
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."
I didn’t want to go, but eventually I caved.
Finally he cut it out.
The doctor says I can clearly see your nuts
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, “They're watch dogs'!
She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”
I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”
Four a'clock
They saw the rating- only one star.
straightaway I knew he was a keeper
I need my hip to be square.
I guess you can call him Burrrrr-rito
Turns out it’s just a communist plot.
..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.
as part of his minor tour.
'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.
Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
Google Meat.
He says that it makes him feel more at home... on the range.
...is run by a bunch of has-beans.
It's Winter in a Walken Wonderland.
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
It was quite the Plot Twist
I enjoyed being enlightened
Everyone knows a panda eats shoots and leaves.
''bad reviews, only one star''they said.
"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
Doctor: What's the problem?
Me: I'm a moth.
Doctor: Excuse me?
Me: I'm a moth.
Doctor: Maybe you should see a psychiatrist not a dentist.
Me: I went to the psychiatrist about an hour ago.
Doctor: Then what are you doing here?
Me: Your light was on.
"Doc, I haven't pooped in a week! Please help!"
Doc says sure, and writes him a prescription for a weeks worth of suppositories.
Man comes back the next day, "doc, I took the entire script last night, but nothing happened!"
The doc is shocked, as in his experience suppositories are very effective, and after taking a weeks worth he should have definitely had a BM. Oh well, the doc thinks, and gives him another weeks worth.
Guy comes back the next day. The doc says incredulously, "you've taken 2 weeks worth of suppositories in 2 days, and nothing happened?!?! What are you doing with them, eating them?!?!"
The man replies, "What'd you expect me to do with them, Shove 'em up my ass?!?!"
I don't know if this would normally be considered a dad joke, but it's my dad's favorite joke so I think it should count.
..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.
sixteenth chapel.
.. I've none atoll.
I'm afraid she is addicted to crack.
It's too high a price 'toupee.'
We created our own joint account.
I told him they only do Caesar cuts.
Don't worry--it's only tissue damage...
All their roads seem to have this weird design flaw.
There is a lot that I want to accomplish in The Mean Time!!
I told her that was quite coinciDENTAL.
Because he was out of alignment.
They read the reviews... only one star
