Please report post that violate the rules!

Recently new mod here, all I ask is that you report ANY posts that break the rules such as; Reposts, posts that are not a pun, NSFW, Etc. With it being reported it makes our jobs easier! Thank you have a great day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nws4c
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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I can't believe the girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment...

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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What do you call two Corgis that violate the laws of space-time?

A pair-of-dogs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimateZebra19
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I was pulled over by a police officer for a moving violation…

The officer’s name was Tina, and she was a sergeant. Certain my wife would leave me for being pulled over, again, I welled up and began bawling like a baby. Officer Tina, overcome by my emotional outburst, began to tear up as well. I stopped her in her tracks, though, and declared, β€œDon’t cry for me Sergeant Tina.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
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What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is in violation of the law and the other is a sick bird

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdolsa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2021
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A hunter in Montana got a knock on the door of his log cabin while he was eating his supper one evening.

Confused as to who it could be, he gets up and opens the door to find the county sheriff standing there.

'Why, hello sir,' he says, 'what can I do for ya this fine evening?'

'I'll get straight to the point,' the sheriff replies, 'I know you've been huntin' grizzlies in these here parts, and that's against the law!'

'Huh? I ain't been huntin' no grizzlies, sheriff,' the hunter replies, 'I been mainly focusin' on them deers i swear!'

The sheriff, not believing the hunter, insists on searching the cabin, with the hunter reluctantly letting him in. Upon his search, the sheriff finds multiple sets of the limbs of grizzly bears, providing all the evidence he needs to arrest the hunter.

The next day, the sheriff is approached at his desk by the hunter's lawyer as well as an FBI officer. Noting this as unusual he stands to greet them.

'I'm gonna have to ask you to let my client go,' the lawyer says.

'Why?' The sheriff stammered

The FBI agent interjects, 'You have violated the Constitution of the United States in imprisoning this hunter. The remains in his possession were all front legs of the grizzly bears, and as such, you have infringed upon his second amendment right to bear arms.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TD_KingJason
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2021
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I thought giving cows the round bails of hay was made illegal?

Because they are not getting a square meal.

Edit: bailing myself out with this edit...bale not bail. Unless the cow is pulled over and its license has been suspended due to too many mooooving violations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snafu607
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2021
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A police officer was fired after knocking over a salt shaker to charge his cell phone at a diner.

Ignoring a salt and battery charges violate department policy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schwanne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2021
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Yesterday, one of my good friends told me that I often make people feel uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nathan0492
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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Sbarro pizza company charged with violating state COVID executive order

They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.

Good evening. I'll see my self out...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldeweyjr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Why was the alcoholic pianist not accepted into music school?

He violated the coda conduct!

(Credit: Daniel Thrasher)

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2021
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Stop! You have violated the law!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCPunited
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Violated rights
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnglishOstrich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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The news always reports on violations of human rights

But what about their lefts?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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it is against the law to pester and bother the large aquatic grass eating animals

this is considered crimes against hugh manatee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H-DaneelOlivaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?

He said it was because I committed a moving violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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If traveling is a violation in basketball then shouldn’t the entire visiting team be disqualified?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelnpdx
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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Hey, am I violating the rules by posting here?

I'm only a Step-Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knowses
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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So I'm in my garage and my wife walks in.

She yells STAMPEDE!!! And threw a handful of animal crackers at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_little_angry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Did you hear about the lightbulbs that are getting sent to jail without a trial?

It's a lumen rights violation!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bevroren
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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A L L C A P S
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.

That would be a Pippa violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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Why did the cow get a ticket?

Because of a mooing violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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ENTER A NEW PASSWORD β€œchicken” THE PASSWORD REQUIRES A CAPITAL!!!

β€œchickenkiev”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Did you hear Congress proposed a law banning tank tops?

It didn't pass because it violated the right to bare arms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/polarbearparanoia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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A bit startled, I asked, "Officer, why are you crying while writing me my ticket?” He sighed...

"It’s a moving violation!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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News of the day!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamekhjr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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it all

The title says it all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nesano
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
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Two fishes are in a tank

One of them says "so how do I drive this thing"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moabdulrazzak
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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Why Did France Send Such a Large and Heavy Version of the Statue of Liberty to the USA?

Because it violated their statue of limitations.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I got fired for wearing a bear costume to work

They violated my constitutional right to bear arms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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The cop teared up a little as she wrote out my ticket.

I guess it was a moving violation.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?

They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Dad joke makes it to my local news article's headline.

http://imgur.com/a/6XENi

(First time posting here, I hope posting a screenshot/imgur link alone doesn't violate any rules! Thought this would be quite a unique post to contribute to the sub.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefreshp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
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I need a pun related to the NES

My girlfriend is making a shirt with a chibi NES controller on it. We are at a loss for puns related to the NES. Any help please?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomhobo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
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What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?

Dear Sir,

We are writing to you because you have violated copyright…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
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Why was the cannibal's Chinese restaurant shut down?

For human rice violations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thrashette
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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I can't believe girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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The news always reports on violations of human rights

But what about their lefts?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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β€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”

Cop: it’s a .....moving violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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β€œOfficer, are you crying while you are writing me a ticket?”

Cop: It’s a...moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Me: Officer, why are you crying while writing me a ticket?

Cop: It’s such a moving violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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β€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”

Cop: Yes. It’s quite a moving violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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β€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”

Cop: Yes. It’s quite.....a moving violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?

Cop: It was a moving violation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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