Recently new mod here, all I ask is that you report ANY posts that break the rules such as; Reposts, posts that are not a pun, NSFW, Etc. With it being reported it makes our jobs easier! Thank you have a great day!
Don't they have a right to bare arms?
A pair-of-dogs.
The officer’s name was Tina, and she was a sergeant. Certain my wife would leave me for being pulled over, again, I welled up and began bawling like a baby. Officer Tina, overcome by my emotional outburst, began to tear up as well. I stopped her in her tracks, though, and declared, “Don’t cry for me Sergeant Tina.”
One is in violation of the law and the other is a sick bird
Confused as to who it could be, he gets up and opens the door to find the county sheriff standing there.
'Why, hello sir,' he says, 'what can I do for ya this fine evening?'
'I'll get straight to the point,' the sheriff replies, 'I know you've been huntin' grizzlies in these here parts, and that's against the law!'
'Huh? I ain't been huntin' no grizzlies, sheriff,' the hunter replies, 'I been mainly focusin' on them deers i swear!'
The sheriff, not believing the hunter, insists on searching the cabin, with the hunter reluctantly letting him in. Upon his search, the sheriff finds multiple sets of the limbs of grizzly bears, providing all the evidence he needs to arrest the hunter.
The next day, the sheriff is approached at his desk by the hunter's lawyer as well as an FBI officer. Noting this as unusual he stands to greet them.
'I'm gonna have to ask you to let my client go,' the lawyer says.
'Why?' The sheriff stammered
The FBI agent interjects, 'You have violated the Constitution of the United States in imprisoning this hunter. The remains in his possession were all front legs of the grizzly bears, and as such, you have infringed upon his second amendment right to bear arms.'
Because they are not getting a square meal.
Edit: bailing myself out with this edit...bale not bail. Unless the cow is pulled over and its license has been suspended due to too many mooooving violations.
Ignoring a salt and battery charges violate department policy.
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.
Good evening. I'll see my self out...
He violated the coda conduct!
(Credit: Daniel Thrasher)
But what about their lefts?
this is considered crimes against hugh manatee
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
I'm only a Step-Dad.
She yells STAMPEDE!!! And threw a handful of animal crackers at me.
It's a lumen rights violation!
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
That would be a Pippa violation.
Because of a mooing violation.
“chickenkiev”
It didn't pass because it violated the right to bare arms.
"It’s a moving violation!"
One of them says "so how do I drive this thing"
Because it violated their statue of limitations.
They violated my constitutional right to bear arms
I guess it was a moving violation.
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
http://imgur.com/a/6XENi
(First time posting here, I hope posting a screenshot/imgur link alone doesn't violate any rules! Thought this would be quite a unique post to contribute to the sub.)
My girlfriend is making a shirt with a chibi NES controller on it. We are at a loss for puns related to the NES. Any help please?
Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright…
For human rice violations.
I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]
Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, “A pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.
Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, “It is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: “A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: “...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”
Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, “To trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”
Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.
Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu
... keep reading on reddit ➡Don't they have a right to bare arms?
But what about their lefts?
Cop: it’s a .....moving violation.
Cop: It’s a...moving violation.
Cop: It’s such a moving violation.
Cop: Yes. It’s quite a moving violation.
Cop: Yes. It’s quite.....a moving violation.
Cop: It was a moving violation.
