Sbarro pizza company charged with violating state COVID executive order

They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.

Good evening. I'll see my self out...

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ldeweyjr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 05 2020
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A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?

He said it was because I committed a moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 375
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/2donutkid2
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 28 2021
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Yesterday, one of my good friends told me that I often make people feel uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 66
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Nathan0492
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 03 2020
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The news always reports on violations of human rights

But what about their lefts?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/charons-voyage
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 10 2020
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Stop! You have violated the law!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SCPunited
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 17 2019
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Violated rights
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 87
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/EnglishOstrich
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 10 2019
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Please report post that violate the rules!

Recently new mod here, all I ask is that you report ANY posts that break the rules such as; Reposts, posts that are not a pun, NSFW, Etc. With it being reported it makes our jobs easier! Thank you have a great day!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Nws4c
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 05 2019
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I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.

Death.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/my_life_is_a_joke64
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 18 2019
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What do you call two Corgis that violate the laws of space-time?

A pair-of-dogs.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/UltimateZebra19
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 14 2019
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I can't believe the girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment...

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 46
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Origamibyameer1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 17 2018
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If traveling is a violation in basketball then shouldnโ€™t the entire visiting team be disqualified?
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/michaelnpdx
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 25 2019
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Hey, am I violating the rules by posting here?

I'm only a Step-Dad.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/knowses
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 19 2019
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When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 26 2019
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So I'm in my garage and my wife walks in.

She yells STAMPEDE!!! And threw a handful of animal crackers at me.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 605
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/a_little_angry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 03 2020
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Why did the cow get a ticket?

Because of a mooing violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/emjay144
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 20 2020
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A bit startled, I asked, "Officer, why are you crying while writing me my ticket?โ€ He sighed...

"Itโ€™s a moving violation!"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 04 2020
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Did you hear Congress proposed a law banning tank tops?

It didn't pass because it violated the right to bare arms.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/polarbearparanoia
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 04 2020
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A L L C A P S
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 810
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/coadnamedalex
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 21 2018
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ENTER A NEW PASSWORD โ€œchickenโ€ THE PASSWORD REQUIRES A CAPITAL!!!

โ€œchickenkievโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JackTMJones
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 23 2019
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News of the day!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 72
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/shamekhjr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 15 2019
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I got fired for wearing a bear costume to work

They violated my constitutional right to bear arms

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PygmeePony
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 31 2020
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Why Did France Send Such a Large and Heavy Version of the Statue of Liberty to the USA?

Because it violated their statue of limitations.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/spooninacerealbowl
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 11 2020
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it all

The title says it all.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Nesano
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 07 2014
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Two fishes are in a tank

One of them says "so how do I drive this thing"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 58
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/moabdulrazzak
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 10 2018
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The cop teared up a little as she wrote out my ticket.

I guess it was a moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 60
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ErwinFurwinPurrwin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 04 2019
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Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?

They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/spooninacerealbowl
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 10 2019
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Why was the cannibal's Chinese restaurant shut down?

For human rice violations.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thrashette
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 22 2018
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What do you get when you put hot sauce on a dog?

A hotdog. You get a god-damn hotdog.

Edit: No real dogs were harmed in the making of this joke. Except for maybe a hotdog.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/adidude1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 03 2017
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Whatโ€™s a pirateโ€™s least favorite letter?

Dear Sir,

We are writing to you because you have violated copyrightโ€ฆ

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 99
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 21 2017
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I need a pun related to the NES

My girlfriend is making a shirt with a chibi NES controller on it. We are at a loss for puns related to the NES. Any help please?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Doomhobo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 31 2014
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Dad joke makes it to my local news article's headline.

http://imgur.com/a/6XENi

(First time posting here, I hope posting a screenshot/imgur link alone doesn't violate any rules! Thought this would be quite a unique post to contribute to the sub.)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thefreshp
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 02 2016
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Holding my little girl, my wife walks up...

Little one is furiously violating her pacifier when the lady says, โ€œI suppose itโ€™s time for a feeding.โ€

Hand on the pacifier, I looked up and replied, โ€œShall I uncork the whine?โ€

An unwavering stare was my only reward.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/codepoet
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 03 2017
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[rule changes and minor update on spam filter]

First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Please, for the love of God, have the slightest bit of creativity and do not put the punchline of the joke in the title. The reasoning being as follows.

Most importantly, putting the punchline in the title ruins the joke, unless it is a one liner!
*
Secondarily, this is a puns subreddit dedicated to wordplay, if you lack the creativity to restate something in a humorous way rather than regurgitating the punchline as the header, perhaps this isn't the subreddit for you...


#Secondarily,


I've made a few minor spam filter tweaks. Your post will be caught in the spam filter if:

  1. Your account has less than +3 combined comment and link karma.
  2. Your account is less than 7 days old.

What will happen if your post is filtered is it will automatically go into the spam queue, and I'll try to have it unfiltered in the span of a couple of minutes/hours, but sometimes I do sleep so sadly it may take longer.

My post isn't appearing! How do I fix it?

If your post is not appearing and it has not violated any of the rules, feel free to drop us a mod message and I'll get a mobile notification within 30 minutes or so of the post removal, putting it on the fast track to being restored.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/KetoSaiba
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 01 2016
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, โ€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,โ€ a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, โ€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.โ€ Oscar Levant has added a tag line: โ€œA pun is the lowest form of humorโ€”when you donโ€™t think of it first.โ€ John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: โ€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.โ€

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, โ€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... โ€

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and thoโ€™ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesnโ€™t mean that the punnery isnโ€™t fu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zil2mz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 11 2014
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What size breasts did Ariel have?

Sea-cups

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dowhatnow30
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 03 2015
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The news always reports on violations of human rights

But what about their lefts?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/charons-voyage
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 10 2020
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โ€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?โ€

Cop: itโ€™s a .....moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 07 2020
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I can't believe girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Origamibyameer1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 17 2018
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Me: Officer, why are you crying while writing me a ticket?

Cop: Itโ€™s such a moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 72
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 21 2020
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โ€œOfficer, are you crying while you are writing me a ticket?โ€

Cop: Itโ€™s a...moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 03 2019
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โ€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?โ€

Cop: Yes. Itโ€™s quite a moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 43
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 16 2020
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โ€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?โ€

Cop: Yes. Itโ€™s quite.....a moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 27 2020
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Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?

Cop: It was a moving violation.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 184
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 14 2019
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