Violated rights
πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnglishOstrich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Stop! You have violated the law!
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SCPunited
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.

Death.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Sbarro pizza company charged with violating state COVID executive order

They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.

Good evening. I'll see my self out...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ldeweyjr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, one of my good friends told me that I often make people feel uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nathan0492
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The news always reports on violations of human rights

But what about their lefts?

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”

Cop: it’s a .....moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two Corgis that violate the laws of space-time?

A pair-of-dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimateZebra19
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Please report post that violate the rules!

Recently new mod here, all I ask is that you report ANY posts that break the rules such as; Reposts, posts that are not a pun, NSFW, Etc. With it being reported it makes our jobs easier! Thank you have a great day!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nws4c
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If traveling is a violation in basketball then shouldn’t the entire visiting team be disqualified?
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelnpdx
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't believe the girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment...

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Hey, am I violating the rules by posting here?

I'm only a Step-Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knowses
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
So I'm in my garage and my wife walks in.

She yells STAMPEDE!!! And threw a handful of animal crackers at me.

πŸ‘︎ 603
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a_little_angry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Congress proposed a law banning tank tops?

It didn't pass because it violated the right to bare arms.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/polarbearparanoia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow get a ticket?

Because of a mooing violation.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A bit startled, I asked, "Officer, why are you crying while writing me my ticket?” He sighed...

"It’s a moving violation!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired for wearing a bear costume to work

They violated my constitutional right to bear arms

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Did France Send Such a Large and Heavy Version of the Statue of Liberty to the USA?

Because it violated their statue of limitations.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A L L C A P S
πŸ‘︎ 820
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
ENTER A NEW PASSWORD β€œchicken” THE PASSWORD REQUIRES A CAPITAL!!!

β€œchickenkiev”

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
it all

The title says it all.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nesano
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
🚨︎ report
News of the day!
πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shamekhjr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Two fishes are in a tank

One of them says "so how do I drive this thing"

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moabdulrazzak
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?

They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The cop teared up a little as she wrote out my ticket.

I guess it was a moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?

Dear Sir,

We are writing to you because you have violated copyright…

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the cannibal's Chinese restaurant shut down?

For human rice violations.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thrashette
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What size breasts did Ariel have?

Sea-cups

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dowhatnow30
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you put hot sauce on a dog?

A hotdog. You get a god-damn hotdog.

Edit: No real dogs were harmed in the making of this joke. Except for maybe a hotdog.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adidude1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
[rule changes and minor update on spam filter]

First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Please, for the love of God, have the slightest bit of creativity and do not put the punchline of the joke in the title. The reasoning being as follows.

Most importantly, putting the punchline in the title ruins the joke, unless it is a one liner!
*
Secondarily, this is a puns subreddit dedicated to wordplay, if you lack the creativity to restate something in a humorous way rather than regurgitating the punchline as the header, perhaps this isn't the subreddit for you...


#Secondarily,


I've made a few minor spam filter tweaks. Your post will be caught in the spam filter if:

  1. Your account has less than +3 combined comment and link karma.
  2. Your account is less than 7 days old.

What will happen if your post is filtered is it will automatically go into the spam queue, and I'll try to have it unfiltered in the span of a couple of minutes/hours, but sometimes I do sleep so sadly it may take longer.

My post isn't appearing! How do I fix it?

If your post is not appearing and it has not violated any of the rules, feel free to drop us a mod message and I'll get a mobile notification within 30 minutes or so of the post removal, putting it on the fast track to being restored.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2016
🚨︎ report
I need a pun related to the NES

My girlfriend is making a shirt with a chibi NES controller on it. We are at a loss for puns related to the NES. Any help please?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomhobo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
🚨︎ report
Holding my little girl, my wife walks up...

Little one is furiously violating her pacifier when the lady says, β€œI suppose it’s time for a feeding.”

Hand on the pacifier, I looked up and replied, β€œShall I uncork the whine?”

An unwavering stare was my only reward.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/codepoet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad joke makes it to my local news article's headline.

http://imgur.com/a/6XENi

(First time posting here, I hope posting a screenshot/imgur link alone doesn't violate any rules! Thought this would be quite a unique post to contribute to the sub.)

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefreshp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
🚨︎ report
The news always reports on violations of human rights

But what about their lefts?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Officer, why are you crying while writing me a ticket?

Cop: It’s such a moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”

Cop: Yes. It’s quite a moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œOfficer, are you crying while you are writing me a ticket?”

Cop: It’s a...moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œOfficer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”

Cop: Yes. It’s quite.....a moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?

Cop: It was a moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 183
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.