Death.
Cop: it’s a .....moving violation.
Because of a mooing violation.
It didn't pass because it violated the right to bare arms.
A pair-of-dogs.
She yells STAMPEDE!!! And threw a handful of animal crackers at me.
Recently new mod here, all I ask is that you report ANY posts that break the rules such as; Reposts, posts that are not a pun, NSFW, Etc. With it being reported it makes our jobs easier! Thank you have a great day!
Explanation for the uninformed: It’s a play on nap (sleeping) and NAP (non-aggression principle) -The ethical stance asserting that aggression is inherently wrong. This includes initiating or threatening any forceful interference with an individual or their property.
Source: Found this gem on r/liberarianmemes about anarchists, but I changed it to AnCap because it’s more fitting.
Hoped you either laughed or learned something today. Have a good one.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
I'm only a Step-Dad.
They violated my constitutional right to bear arms
Don't they have a right to bare arms?
Because it violated their statue of limitations.
“chickenkiev”
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
I guess it was a moving violation.
One of them says "so how do I drive this thing"
My dad has been making jokes as if he is in a cult, either the cult of landru from Star trek, scientology, or the heaven's gate cult for weeks.
So, today I'm making pancakes while he's telling me I must give myself to Landru, that it would be a good idea to get my thetans checked, Xenu died for my sins etc etc, and so I say to him
"You know, most people just pick the one cult and stick with that."
And he immediately lights up like it's Christmas morning and he's got a god damned Red Rider beebee gun, and he goes
"I can't help it if I'm multiCULTural"
I felt violated, used, and extremely proud all at once.
Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright…
For human rice violations.
A hotdog. You get a god-damn hotdog.
Edit: No real dogs were harmed in the making of this joke. Except for maybe a hotdog.
First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Please, for the love of God, have the slightest bit of creativity and do not put the punchline of the joke in the title. The reasoning being as follows.
Most importantly, putting the punchline in the title ruins the joke, unless it is a one liner!
*
Secondarily, this is a puns subreddit dedicated to wordplay, if you lack the creativity to restate something in a humorous way rather than regurgitating the punchline as the header, perhaps this isn't the subreddit for you...
#Secondarily,
I've made a few minor spam filter tweaks. Your post will be caught in the spam filter if:
- Your account has less than +3 combined comment and link karma.
- Your account is less than 7 days old.
What will happen if your post is filtered is it will automatically go into the spam queue, and I'll try to have it unfiltered in the span of a couple of minutes/hours, but sometimes I do sleep so sadly it may take longer.
My post isn't appearing! How do I fix it?
If your post is not appearing and it has not violated any of the rules, feel free to drop us a mod message and I'll get a mobile notification within 30 minutes or so of the post removal, putting it on the fast track to being restored.
Little one is furiously violating her pacifier when the lady says, “I suppose it’s time for a feeding.”
Hand on the pacifier, I looked up and replied, “Shall I uncork the whine?”
An unwavering stare was my only reward.
My girlfriend is making a shirt with a chibi NES controller on it. We are at a loss for puns related to the NES. Any help please?
http://imgur.com/a/6XENi
(First time posting here, I hope posting a screenshot/imgur link alone doesn't violate any rules! Thought this would be quite a unique post to contribute to the sub.)
I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]
Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, “A pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.
Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, “It is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: “A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: “...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”
Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, “To trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”
Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.
Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu
... keep reading on reddit ➡So I'm sat with my girlfriend and her family watching football and her brother says "I read earlier today that it's illegal in Switzerland to only have 1 guinea pig because they get lonely."
Her mum says "Is it like a violation of their civil rights or something?"
My response: "Yeah, it's against the Guineava Convention."
Cop: It’s a...moving violation.
Cop: Yes. It’s quite.....a moving violation.
Don't they have a right to bare arms?
Cop: It was a moving violation.
