Velocity ? What's that i think it's wheelocity
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Srishti_Things
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Did you know the film β€œSpeed” had no director?

If it had direction, it would be called β€œVelocity”.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divine_ICBM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?

He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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They want to reboot Speed with One Direction

It's called Velocity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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What do you call a really fast dinosaur?

A velocity raptor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatVeggie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Ow Ouch Ow
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πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Do you want to hear a mean joke?

A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go on a hunting trip. They see a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance to the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, he fires but misses five feet to the left.

The engineer says he forgot to account for the wind, takes the rifle, aims and misses five feet to the right. The statistician claps and says "we got him!".

πŸ‘︎ 653
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LGriff13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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I love that the Earth spins

It really makes my day.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue_Phoenix912
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
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Which is the favourite animal of a physicist that likes dinosaurs?

Velocity-raptor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYOOK1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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What's the fastest speed a line of people at an airport can board an airplane?

Terminal velocity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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Why do rocket scientists like Ford crossovers?

Then they're always at Escape velocity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deltigre
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,

Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2016
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A colleague of mine called me and asked me for a quick word...

I said "velocity" and hung up

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
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My wife just told me she needed some time and distance.

I think she wants to calculate velocity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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I just Dad Joked myself. I'm ashamed

This all mainly involves my actions and thinking to myself.

So I'm cutting my nails with clippers, the clipping seem to travel at a pretty high velocity then cut.

anyway, at one moment I had the clippers facing away from me, meaning my nails were pointing at me. When I cut, the clipping flew up and hit me on the eyelid, felt very close to going in.

That's when I thought:

"Shit, I almost nailed myself in the eye"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frecklejam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2015
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Dadjoked by my 7-year-old son

While sailing in the Caribbean this week, were were deep into a discussion about true wind and apparent wind.

True wind is the vector (speed and direction) that the wind is actually blowing. Apparent wind is the resultant vector of adding true wind and the velocity of the boat.

>So what is the kid wind?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoccoRacer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2015
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My physics teacher made a dad joke.

I asked "What's relative velocity?" He replied "It's when your uncle runs faster than you"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenlover6969
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2014
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What do you call a dinosaur that drives too fast? (punned my 5 year old, hard)

A velocity raptor.

What happens when he loses control?

He T-Rex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterWinchester
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
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Dad's relationship advice

If your girlfriend wants time and distance, give it to her.

She wants to calculate velocity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyuden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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