Unsusceptibility Puns

There seems to be a massive misconception about how wallets work and what a cold wallet is. Let’s set some facts straight.

A Cold wallet is not/does not:

• “store” any crypto
• make you unsusceptible to hackers
• make your Private Keys safe
• do anything different then a “hot wallet”

A cold wallet is

• an offline store for your private keys, when it’s unplugged from your laptop

Crypto wallets are not like wallets in your laptop, the crypto doesn’t go into the wallet. Instead a wallet is an address. The blockchain holds book entries for what crypto is assigned to that address.

This means your crypto is still on chain. You’re not safe from scammers with a hardware wallet. And, any coin migrations, airdrops authorizations you’ve made or signed can still happen even if you’re not plugged in.

It’s wild to me that it’s so noticeable even when he stops watching for a few days. So what else fills his time? He feels like he’s missing out on major world, national, and local stories. My mom and I have just been trying to fill his time with other hobbies. Bingo at the American Legion, trivia night at a local bar, fishing with his buddies, Bible study groups, yard work, house improvement stuff. If he starts to settle in to watch a show, I’ll suddenly need help with some project or something - this jar won’t open, can you hold this thing, can you ride with me to the store, etc. I try to point out the great life he enjoys that literally no one is infringing on - not gay people, not Muslims, not black people, not immigrants, not poor or homeless people. When he gets mad at something out in public I remind him that other people are allowed to just exist. That is, incidentally, a good reminder to myself as well when I get impatient with other people. We’re all just trying to be.

I finally shared with my mom how worried I was that he was becoming radicalized. Genuinely worried! I work in the marketing industry and let me tell you that no one is unsusceptible to marketing manipulation. No one. (Keep a sharp eye on your own self and state of mind!) It’s insidious, relentless, and merciless. I showed her how they can and do target his exact demographic and how many of these Jan 6 rioters were exactly like him, just a few steps forward. I said none of these guys’ family and friends thought they’d be dealing with this, it doesn’t start with bringing zip ties to the capitol.

Anyway, just wanted to share a microstep forward in progress back to normalcy. Like weaning a junkie off heroin.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Before you I was silent,
Drinking hemlock from golden goblets,
While I’d plot my sweet revenge.
Cold and underserved.

Now, my voice grows tired,
Hoarse from wailing like a passing fire engine,
Waiting for your untrained ear to allow me to be heard,
I long for the day that you emerge and see the blaze before you.

—-

(EDITED - original above, revision below based on collective feedback)

—-

Before you, I was silent,
Drinking hemlock from golden goblets,
While I’d plot my sweet revenge.
Cold and underserved.

Now, my voice grows faint,
Hoarse from wailing through the night,
Glowing red, waiting for your untrained ear
To allow me to be heard.

I long for the day that you emerge and see the blaze before you.
Vibrant — vibrating through the floorboards.
You can hardly stand to see me rise unscathed,
Unsusceptible to the smothering of your retardant love.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.