Unsolicited Puns

A list of puns related to "Unsolicited"

Whenever a book publisher refuses to accept my hand-delivered unsolicited autobiography, I usually just squeeze it as hard as I can with my thighs...

so that it's easier to walk away with my tale between my legs.

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👤︎ u/OK_Compooper
📅︎ May 03 2021
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My Mother-in-Law responded to an unsolicited fax with an amazing dad joke.

My MiL received this unsolicited fax at her office. My wife suggested she should fax something clever back. She delivered.

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👤︎ u/plutoniumhead
📅︎ Jul 22 2015
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I just took an unsolicited phone call telling me I’d won either £200 or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert.

They said to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...

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👤︎ u/gr00veh0lmes
📅︎ May 07 2018
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Never take unsolicited advice.
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👤︎ u/scipio_aurelius
📅︎ Aug 21 2016
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I overheard someone scold their companion, saying "I didn't ask for your unsolicited advice." And I thought to myself ...

One never asks for unsolicited advice, because if you did, it would no longer be un.

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👤︎ u/drozzi007
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
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I like to send unsolicited duck pics to my SO(x-post /r/pics)
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👤︎ u/live4lifelegit
📅︎ Jun 08 2015
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I don’t understand why people don’t like unsolicited advice.

They always get their money’s worth

Edit: typo

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👤︎ u/jacobgomets
📅︎ Dec 24 2018
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Don't open any unsolicited emails about meat

They're Spam

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👤︎ u/Charlieb2007
📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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Unsolicited Calls. ‭

‭020 8125 7830‬: Hello, I’m calling about the accident you had in the last two years. Me: Gosh how did you know I trapped my cock in the hotel drawer? ‭020 8125 7830‬: (hesitation) So you’ve had an accident within the last two years? Me: Yes I trapped my penis in the drawer at a Holiday Inn. Now it’s gone a funny colour, and hurts all the time. ‭020 8125 7830‬: (hesitation.....) Click.

BLOCKED.

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👤︎ u/SiBodoh
📅︎ Sep 26 2018
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I got in big trouble for the photos I sent to the women at the office.

I was so proud of my home improvement projects that I got caught sending them unsolicited deck pics.

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👤︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
📅︎ Oct 11 2019
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Never take unsolicited advice
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👤︎ u/scipio_aurelius
📅︎ Nov 12 2015
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