University College Puns

Luckily, the authorities managed to safely return both textbooks back to the library.

Vancouver vs. Whitehorse.

(You might have to think a bit to get this one)

He was bent on success

So I forgot my school was having a planned fire drill. I was hanging outside my class building, ditching with my girlfriend when everybody suddenly poured out. My teacher came out in front of the entire class and asked me why I was already outside. I don't know what came over me, I guess my brain went into auto-defense-dad-mode because I told him:

What can I say? I'm a premature evacuator.

I was having a discussion with my parents about all of the different subjects you can major in at my university. I brought up that one my childhood friends was majoring in Criminology. My mom mentioned that Criminology majors don't make a lot of money out of college. My dad started to chuckle. We all looked at him knowing what was about to happen.
"I guess it's true than." "What?" "Crime doesn't pay." He then proceeded to laugh to himself throughout the rest of dinner.

Asked my Dad what his favorite college football team is besides his alma mater and my university.

Dad: "Georgia Tech of course." Me: "Why?" Dad: "They're the only football team named after an article of clothing..."

-_-

My sophomore year of college, my family brought me up to help with the move. We stop by a Waffle House near the university for breakfast and my dad says, "I didn't know you had a back school here." My mother and I both asked what he meant, although he only pointed to a poster.

"Welcome back students."

Someone sneezes

Someone else: Bless you!

Teacher: That's where I went to college. Bless University.

Back Story: Had an Ohio Today magazine sitting on the ground which is our college Ohio University's Alumni Magazine

Me: Oh I didn't know you got Ohio Today Boyfriend: Well, I already read it so it is Ohio Yesterday