My wife during The Transporter: Oh look, it's Jason Stathamscope
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmewhyte
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a Transporter van.

Whenever I drive it I feel like Jason Statham.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a math teachers favourite mode of transport?

rhombus

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashjmc89
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm dyslexic and I accidentally boarded the wrong method of public transportation.

Oops, wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IronicOrJustLame
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Your grandparents are planning their funeral arrangements in advance. Grandma wants to be transported in a horse and carriage grandpa wants a Ferrari.

Setting up to be a real race to the finish but I think Grandpa is winning this one.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
This morning I saw an animal trailer transporting a few female sheep

I thought they were usually ram packed

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Megabot3001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the favorite mode of transportation for accountants?

Tax-is

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A master woodworker needed transportation, so he built a motorcycle out of the best lumber in the workshop.

It wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Berlin transport company know their memes
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vino8855
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What's The Name Of The Dutch Transport Minister?

Laurie Van Truk

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EastLondonVideo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the best way to transport a giant foot?

toe truck

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
SpaceX's rocket was designed to be as wide as it could be and still be transported on the roads.

So when the boss wanted to make it larger, they had to elongate it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/15_Redstones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Imagine a form of public transportation where there is no monetary fee but you relive past mistakes for as long as you are a passenger
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0LL3CT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are trains the best form of transportation?

Because they have a proven track record

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IzzetAGoblin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does it always seem like ambulances take forever to arrive?

Because they're a patient transport.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Egyptian Council Leader: the public transport in Cairo is terrible.

Egyptian Transport Secretary: We need a new bus

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the preferred mode of transport for the wizard of Oz?

The Oscar.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lead_the_leader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What's it called when you're moving to a new place and because of a certain influence over there you change your gender?

Transportation

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_aaryaveer64
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A pirate is transported to modern day and stumbles upon a lumber mill while looking for work. When the pirate is asked if he knows how to use any of the tools...

He replies, "Arkansas".

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dominant_Dankster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a business focused solely on transporting Capra aegagrus hircus. We'll have slings, bags, and more.

It's called Totes My Goats!

(Capra aegagrus hircus is the scientific name for goats)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a musician's favorite method of transportation?

Debussy

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a werewolf's favourite mode of transport?

A lunar cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/colour_of_cows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.

Police are still combing the area.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How do drugsdealers transport there drugs?

They take the highway.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an equestrian's favorite mode of transportation?

A Horsche

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hamsux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
As a dyslexic person who frequently fails to board the proper means of public transportation...

Whoops, wrong bus!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to get broomstick to be a more popular mode of transport,

But that's just witchful thinking.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doogasa34
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend for some exercises I could do while commuting on public transport.

My friend asked me what I was train...ing for

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Filthydogg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Courtesy of Transport for Greater Manchester. May require minor football knowledge..
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a dog's favorite mode of transportation?

A waggin'.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goat_chortle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Earlier today a prison transport collided with a cementtruck

The police is now on the look-out for five hardened criminals

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a slugs favorite mode of transportation?

A Snailboat.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheClassicKidTV
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
You may think philosophers are more helpful than archaic forms of transportation,

but I think you're putting Decartes before the horse.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abeannis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?

A BITEcycle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshuaFnBoyer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If Transformers was about Spanish transportation

Would it be a fight between the autobΓΊs and deceptaviΓ³n?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dethmstr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
transportation related body part puns idea list

Examples

Shoebaru , Subaru Mitsufeetshi , Mitsubishi Legsus, lexus Merceknees bends, Mercedes Benz.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xXduyasseneXx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call 5 cents in a water transport mechanism?

Pump-a-Nickel

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onesyboy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
If there is a country that has rollercoasters as the main method of transportation, what is it called?

Coaster Rica

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coh_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What is Harry Potter’s favourite mode of transportation?

Walking............... JK Rowling

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eluceadtenebras
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
If you hear something, say something

I originally posted this in r/MaliciousCompliance, but several commenters thought it would be good here as well. I hope this isn't a re-run for too many of you.

This was years ago when my son was starting middle school. I was transporting him and a group of his new friends. One of the friends was French, and spoke French at home. My son mentioned that I had taken French in high school, and so one of his friends asked me to say something in French and see if French girl could understand me.

Before I go on, a note on parenting style: we joke around with our kids all the time. I know that not all parents joke with their children; some of my kids' friends enjoyed to a dad who makes a joke, and some would look at me like I grew a second head.

So I said to the French girl, Β«quelque choseΒ». Immediately the friends turned to French girl and asked "What did he say?"

I waited, wondering whether she would join my joke.

A sly smile crept across her face as she said, "he said...something". The rest of the trip, the friends tried to convince her to reveal what it was that I had said. Β«quelque choseΒ» is the French phrase for "something".

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mermaldad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the favorite mode of transportation for accountants?

Tax-is.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a mathematician's favourite mode of transport?

A RhomBus!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExplosiveLlama
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.