Thingy Puns

He said "that's the hard part"

My dad was driving us to the airport early in the morning, and the sun was extremely bright straight ahead of us. Sitting in the front, I pulled down the sun-blocker-thingy but it didnt help. I noticed Dad was driving just fine, and without sunglasses. I asked him "how can you drive with the sun in your face like that? I can barely see anything.." He replied "Ah there's nothing to it, I just keep my eyes closed."

So I work retail and I was restocking shelves on a hardware isle with tools, doohickeys, and thingies. He was walking and talking with a new boss (training him and such) when they stopped at my isle. They didn't really notice me so it was perfect.

I picked up a stud finder and hit 'em with a classic!

"Hey guys check it out! It's a stud finder" Runs it over chest "Beep beep beep. Oh hey it's working!"

My boss had a few chuckles and the other guy said something about it being stupid but smiled anyways. Me? I was laughing my ass off.

...and my 13 year old sister has a couple friends over, one of them asks him "so, did your thingy come yet?"

Cue Dad - "Yeah! He's been playing with it all afternoon, too!"

Instant eruption of 13 year old laughter.

Dads, corrupting young minds since 2013.

L.C. Employee: What can I get for you guys?

Dad: We'll take one of your "Hot and Ready" thingies.

L.C. Employee: It will be just a minute. We ran out. We've got some that are almost ready.

Dad: Then I guess you're getting almost five dollars.

So a group of guys come into the shop, in various costumes. One of them is wearing a dressing gown and holding a fork and disconnected plug socket thingy.

I asked him what he was, and he said he was a child that stuck a fork in an electrical socket. He was annoyed that nobody could guess it, so I replied:

"I know, it must've been pretty shocking for you."

My colleague sent me to stock out after that.

So I'm out to dinner with my girlfriend and my family. We're waiting by the outdoor bar with a pager for when our table is ready. After a while of waiting, the following happens:

Girlfriend: Who has the... thingy?" (referring to the pager).

Me: "I have a thingy!"

Brother: Chuckles "No, the thingy... The one that vibrates."

Me: "Wait, yours vibrates?!"

My dad and I started laughing pretty hard at this point.

My mom asks my dad if she could have a date with some cool-whip (dates as in the fruit thingy, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_palm)

But before he could make it back she yells, "AND DON'T COME BACK WITH JUST THE COOL-WHIP SAYING YOU'RE MY DATE!"

He thought he was so smooth lol

My older sister was challenged by a cousin to do the ALS ice bucket challenge thingy.

In an email she says, "Gonna make a creative ice bucket video. Just wait til you see what I'm up to, yall."

My dad responds, " 5'8"? 5'9"? "

Simple, yet effective