Dr Shrink Rom speaks (Zero Theorem pun) imgur.com/gallery/42MXI47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaintPauly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2014
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After failing the test on Pythagoras' Theorem, I wanted to die.

So Hypotenuse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Power_Burger
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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The mathematician finally solved the Unsolvable Subtraction Problem theorem. All the other mathematicians could carry on with their work because of it.

He really made a difference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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Teaching my 11yo son the Pythagorean theorem today.

A plane takes off from an airport in a diagonal ascent for 8km. 5km from the liftoff point a passenger flushes a turd down the toilet. Right then a farmer with a pair if binoculars watching the plane from directly underneath the aircraft sees the turd jettisoned, and exclaims. That's a high pot in use!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vmlinux
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
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What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?

A mathamachicken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thestankypopster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Where are our desssssks
πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HemperorSean
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I sometimes wonder what she is up to now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2016
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'Wanna hear something dodgy?' asked my girlfriend with an air of uncertainty.

I said, 'Sure.'

She sighed.

'I saw you and your ex studying Pythagoras' theorem in the library.'

'Oh, you did?' I asked.

She paused. 'So, how do you explain that?'

'Easily,' I replied. 'It's when the square on the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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Pythagoras the explorer (long)

Everyone knows the Pythagorean theorem, but few people know that Pythagoras was an avid and accomplished explorer who visited the new world before the Vikings or Columbus ever laid eyes on the continent. On one of his early visits he encountered a village and happened upon a woman, heavily pregnant sitting on the hide of a bear. He asked her what she was doing and she told him that she wanted to give birth on the hide so that her child would have the strength of a bear when he was born. As he walked further into the main part of the village he saw another woman, again quite pregnant sitting on the hide of a deer. When asked she replied that she wanted her child to have the grace and agility of a deer. Seeing a trend he was taken aback when he saw a very pregnant woman sitting on the hide of a hippopotamus. Surprised both at the choice and at the existence of such a creature, he wondered what she must wish for her child, but she replied that there just weren’t any other hides available for her so she took what she could get.

Many years later when he returned to the same village, he encountered the first woman and asked about her child. Was he as strong as a bear? She pointed him out and sure enough, her son was busy ripping a stump out of the ground with his hands, as strong as a bear! Amazed, he sought out the second woman, who pointed out her son, running through a field at great speed, as graceful and agile as a deer! Intrigued to say the least, Pythagoras sought the third woman. She pointed out her son, and he didn’t believe his eyes - he was both as strong as a bear and as graceful as a deer; a mountain of a man with grace and poise.

He wrote in his now-famous travel journal his amazing discovery; that the sons of the squaws on the two smaller hides are equal to that of the squaw on the hippopotamus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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What do snakes learn in math class?

The pythongorean theorem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bothbothwushi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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Forbidden to purchase food, Euclid's elementary algebraic solution.

Buy-no-meal theorem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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Hit my dad HARD with this one.

We were talking about math and pythagorean theorem and such. This happened when we were talking about the fastest way to get to point A to point B.

Dad: "What's the fastest way to get from 1st base to 2nd base?"

Me: "Buy her flowers."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovetycoonz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2016
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Dad joked my 8th grade students today

I teach 8th grade math and we were studying the Pythagorean theorem, specifically the converse of the Pythagorean theorem.

I asked them, "What is a mathematicians favorite type of shoes?"

"Converse"

Some groaned, some laughed, some stared at me blankly, one gave me a genuine hi-five. That last student gets an A this marking period...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Travelteach73
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
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Ugh. My dad just told me a joke he is all proud of. It's terrible. Don't even bother with this one

"Did you hear my joke about the Indian chief's wives?"

The first wife lived in a hut made of deer hide, and bore him one son.

The second wife lived in a hut made of bear hide, and bore him one son.

The third wife lived in a hut of hippopotamus skin and bore him twin sons.

"Thus the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of two hides!"

A fucking mad lib on the Pythagorean theorem. I'm pissed. He's so happy. Love you dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McBurger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
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