I planned on making a joke about the Solar Systemβ¦..
But not right now, Iβll planet later.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Feb 09 2022
Why did the lead singer of system of a down get in to the food industry?
Because of his self-righteous soup-n-sides
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 14 2022
Americans will never switch to the metric system
It keeps getting struck down by the Supreme Quart.
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 17 2022
I have the best circulatory system in the world!
Some say aorta be less vein
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 10 2022
Did you hear about those mutations in the NYC sewer system?
They were of the teenage turtle variety.
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 13 2022
Kids are sick so the wife is worried about their weakened immune system making it easier to catch COVIDβ¦
So I asked her βwhat about their weekday immune system?β
π︎ 37
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︎ Jan 14 2022
What's the difference between a democratic system and a feudal system?
In one your vote counts, in the other, your count votes.
π︎ 124
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︎ Dec 01 2021
What did the numerical system say to the alphabet on their date?
You keep talking about your X, Y Z?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 21 2022
Thereβs a reason why aliens havenβt visited the solar system yet.
They checked the reviews and saw we only have one star.
π︎ 49
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︎ Dec 21 2021
If America switched to the metric system,
it would become Ametrica.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 28 2022
My wife couldnβt fit my speaker system into the car
She was getting hy-stereo-cal about it.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 03 2022
Theyβve just given an official name to the virtual reality system being used to stimulate milk production in cows.
Itβs called the Moo-trix.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 11 2022
What did the librarian announce over the PA system when a reader took home βThe Languages of Tolkien's Middleearthβ?
βElvish has left the building.β
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 27 2021
Did you know Texans use the Metric system?
We measure our distance to the closest BBQ joints in scentimeters
π︎ 37
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︎ Oct 04 2021
Why don't people in the US use the metric system?
Because they have a foot fetish
π︎ 57
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︎ Aug 10 2021
My Dad and I were arguing on the phone about how Iβm not careful and need to invest in a better home security system.
He told me how thereβs been an increase in crime in our neighborhood and he was going to come over and tell me how poor my security system is.
I told him, βall right Dad, anytime, my doorβs always open.β
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 23 2021
What did the Imperial System say to the Metric System?
π︎ 15
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︎ Jun 03 2021
What is the first step in making a solar system?
π︎ 59
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︎ Apr 30 2021
How do you start a party with the solar system?
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 10 2021
Pluto has asked not to plan the solar system party this year
It just doesnβt like to planet
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 14 2021
I've been using my new U2 navigation system this week and it's the worst...
The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
π︎ 59
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Who do the other planets in the solar system call when they need a lawyer?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 21 2021
How does the solar system keep it's pants from falling down?
π︎ 23
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︎ Feb 18 2021
My pizza came back to haunt me from beyond the digestive system.
It was in a really crappy mood.
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 10 2021
What is The metric systemβs favorite bug?
A centipede. Iβm a dad, can confirm
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Which digital payment system does the pope use?
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:
π︎ 8k
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︎ Apr 25 2017
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.
The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 01 2020
If I had to rate the Solar System
π︎ 80
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
My wife told me we didnβt need the surround system for our living room I bought...
I told her it was a Sound Investment.
π︎ 14
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︎ May 09 2020
The American healthcare system is UnBEARable
π︎ 27
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︎ Feb 20 2020
My sinkβs disposal system is called the insinkerator
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 26 2019
I want to build a model of the solar system.
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 04 2020
My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 27 2020
My neighbour was a selling a speaker system for just $1. When I asked him why it was so cheap he told me that you cant adjust the sound, the volume is stuck at the loudest setting.
I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 02 2020
The solar system wouldnβt do well on Yelp
π︎ 31
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︎ Feb 19 2020
The nervous system
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 06 2020
Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot fetish.
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 20 2020
Why havenβt the aliens visited our solar system yet?
Bad reviews... only 1 star.
π︎ 196
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︎ Jun 29 2019
How does the solar system throw a party?
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Why do the Americans don't like the metric system?
Because most of them have a foot fetish.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
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