The Package Puns

A list of puns related to "The Package"

I’ve decided to get the most out of my cable package -

I’ve purchased 79 high definition television sets in order to watch as many channels as possible simultaneously

But one more TV would give me 80 HD’s

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👤︎ u/Bkwdesignz
📅︎ Feb 08 2023
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I was having a hard time comprehending the package of a fancy rice I was trying to cook

Turns out I forgot to pilaf the label.

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👤︎ u/donutcronut
📅︎ Feb 09 2023
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I got my son a guidebook for the internet, but my package is delayed. I keep saying

O Come, O Come E-Manual.

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👤︎ u/Samwyzh
📅︎ Dec 25 2022
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Someone threw my package on the roof!

They said it's on the house

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👤︎ u/_ANDREA_06
📅︎ Jul 12 2022
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What does the postman say after he loses a package?

UPS

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👤︎ u/bababoel
📅︎ Jul 08 2021
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Did you hear the two largest package delivery companies are merging?

FedUps is coming

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👤︎ u/Harvard-23
📅︎ Mar 30 2022
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GF ordered a toy that makes animal sounds for her nephew. I picked up the package, and couldn't resist. imgur.com/dscSsqO
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👤︎ u/Cowboy_Bombpop
📅︎ Dec 22 2021
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I suspect the pizza delivery guy may have stolen my package.

He was highly suacespicious.

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👤︎ u/QuicklyThisWay
📅︎ Dec 02 2021
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After checking the delivery tracking app, my wife yelled in a fit of rage, “now my package isn’t coming for another 5 days!”

I replied, now you know how I feel.

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👤︎ u/zion2199
📅︎ Aug 02 2020
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My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves...

Looks like the boa cons tricked her...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ May 13 2020
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My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...

But it was a pack of lyes.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ May 21 2021
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I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"

I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
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Why did the Amazon package wake up in a bathtub full of ice?

Because it was de-livered.

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👤︎ u/CMoy1980
📅︎ Dec 15 2020
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My wife returned a package of pantyhose that she bought online, but they only refunded 90% of the purchase price...

...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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Lipton probably saw many different pitchers of its brewed beverages before settling for the one on its iconic package...

They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jul 24 2020
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Microwaving a TV dinner without opening the package to allow steam to escape is the best way to cook it!

It will be bursting with flavor!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 24 2020
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I was running down the aisle to grab the last package of toilet paper, but I slipped and fell before someone else grabbed it.

You could say I completely wiped out.

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👤︎ u/kwoolery
📅︎ Mar 22 2020
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What the best way to package cold sore medicine?

In a blister pack.

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👤︎ u/wmyspr
📅︎ Jul 06 2019
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I was visiting my surgeon friend when an Amazon package arrived at the door.

He told the mailman, “ Ah... just what the doctor ordered.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Oct 28 2018
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The former NBA commissioner was persuaded to buy a family gym package that included unlimited personal training sessions...

After the trainer vowed she would leave no Stern untoned.

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👤︎ u/whosevelt
📅︎ Nov 23 2018
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My wife sent me a picture of a package we got in the mail...

My three month old daughter was in the background so I asked her if the baby added a lot for shipping.

She said no, but it took a long time to arrive because it shipped from vachina.

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👤︎ u/ViewtifulGary89
📅︎ Oct 30 2014
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What does the mailman say when he drop a package?

http://www.logodesignlove.com/images/contentious/ups-logo.jpg

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👤︎ u/Electric_unicorn
📅︎ Apr 16 2015
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My wife tried to buy an exotic snake on line. When the package arrived, it only contained feather scarves.

Looks like, the boa cons tricked her.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jun 04 2021
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