A person sees someone walking in the street without a mask. Frustrated, he goes up to him, stops at two meters away and angrily mutters through his mask,

"People like you make me sick!".

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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Masks are the new Bra

They're uncomfortable, you only wear them in public, and when you don't wear one everyone notices

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
If you wear glasses and have been required to wear a mask during the COVID pandemic, you may be entitled to condensation.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the feeling of taking off your COVID mask when you get home?

An airgasm.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/majblackburn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did all those dancers during the halftime show wear those masks?

The singer had a Weeknd immune system.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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What city in the Middle East doesn't require you to wear a face mask?

Damascus

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My Wife is freaking out about this coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning......

Now I’m two hours late and I don’t even like Jim Carey

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carpet_tart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket..

They lied, everyone else had their clothes on

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reg182
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"

She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icebucketwood
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...

It was stolen from right under my nose.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
People who don't wear masks are the
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drahil007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

πŸ‘︎ 252
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitHODL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t the guy like to wear a mask?

He said it lowers his maskulinity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarbecueStu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The reason people won't wear a mask is because they have

mask hysteria

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vfxslave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: What’s the best way to affix a mask to your face? Me: I don’t know.

Dad: Masking tape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FolksyDrop97879
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the chicken say to the Lobster who refused to wear a face mask?

You're so shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mockturtle22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Approaching the house without a mask these days is just bush league.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joelkeys0519
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the grocery store today. They told me gloves and a mask would be enough...

They LIED. Everybody else had clothes on!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kratomom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I was at the bank when two man came in with masks...

Such a relief when they said it was just a bank robbery.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPapotasVIP
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said I should put the mask on if I'm leaving the house - and so I always do.

But my dog has to be so sick of that stupid movie by now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going grocery shopping this morning. They told me latex gloves and a face mask was enough. So i go in the store and what do i see?

The others are still wearing a t-shirt and pants!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/getonmylevel205
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a woman who makes face masks for people in need during the pandemic, but it looked like she was getting overwhelmed by all the work.

She seamstressed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got back from the grocery store they said all you need is gloves and a mask- they lied

everyone else was wearing clothes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deepspacesquid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I was in the bank when two men came in wearing masks...

Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it's only a bank robbery.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Keep safe during this pandemic and use an old padded bra to make yourself a comfortable mask. Just make sure you use the left cup...

Because if you use the right one you will look like a right tit.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Astoran15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the Apostle Paul buy his mask for the Corona Virus?

At a shop on the road to Damaskus...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/regfol31
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.

As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hashsmasher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The grocery delivery guy keeps wearing a mask and always stands 2 feet away from me...

I think I need to shower.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the bank teller why the guy sitting at the next window was wearing a mask & a cowboy outfit?

She said he was the lone arranger.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I read that a mask and gloves were appropriate ppe for going out to the grocery store.

Well that is total bs, everyone else had clothes on too.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/savantard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask /r/Jokes/comments/fdtyi2/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PigeonGang1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Man In a Ski Mask Walks into a Bank, and Pulls out a Coffee Cup at the Bank Teller.

The Bank Teller Goes: " Are you Trying to Mug me?! "

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Powershroom64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If the girl from PJ Masks gets wet

Is she a moist Owlette?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DingoAltair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
That little paper mask they ask you to wear at the Medical Clinic is called...

A Coughy Filter!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
If Amaya from PJ Masks got caught in the rain...

She would turn into a moist Owlette.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jc0mm5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the cat in the bird mask say?

Me Owl!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXD3aTh_StR0K3Xx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2016
🚨︎ report
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket ...

they lied, everybody else had their clothes on.

πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luc1113
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tburns1469
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
They said a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket ...

they lied, everyone else had their clothes on.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket

They lied, everyone else has clothes on

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
"Why are you wearing a surgical mask?" I asked the barista.

She said, "It's not a mask. It's a coughy filter."

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/milkchaser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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