A person sees someone walking in the street without a mask. Frustrated, he goes up to him, stops at two meters away and angrily mutters through his mask,

"People like you make me sick!".

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/longnamewithnospaces
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2021
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Masks are the new Bra

They're uncomfortable, you only wear them in public, and when you don't wear one everyone notices

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2021
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If you wear glasses and have been required to wear a mask during the COVID pandemic, you may be entitled to condensation.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
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What do you call the feeling of taking off your COVID mask when you get home?

An airgasm.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/majblackburn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2021
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Why did all those dancers during the halftime show wear those masks?

The singer had a Weeknd immune system.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 70
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Glittering-Try1045
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2021
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What city in the Middle East doesn't require you to wear a face mask?

Damascus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2021
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My Wife is freaking out about this coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning......

Now I’m two hours late and I don’t even like Jim Carey

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/carpet_tart
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2020
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They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket..

They lied, everyone else had their clothes on

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Reg182
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"

She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icebucketwood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2020
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I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...

It was stolen from right under my nose.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ramzert
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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People who don't wear masks are the
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drahil007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RabbitHODL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
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Why doesn’t the guy like to wear a mask?

He said it lowers his maskulinity.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BarbecueStu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
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The reason people won't wear a mask is because they have

mask hysteria

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vfxslave
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2020
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Dad: What’s the best way to affix a mask to your face? Me: I don’t know.

Dad: Masking tape.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FolksyDrop97879
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2020
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What did the chicken say to the Lobster who refused to wear a face mask?

You're so shellfish!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mockturtle22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2020
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Approaching the house without a mask these days is just bush league.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joelkeys0519
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2020
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Went to the grocery store today. They told me gloves and a mask would be enough...

They LIED. Everybody else had clothes on!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kratomom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2020
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Today I was at the bank when two man came in with masks...

Such a relief when they said it was just a bank robbery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 95
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrPapotasVIP
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2020
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My wife said I should put the mask on if I'm leaving the house - and so I always do.

But my dog has to be so sick of that stupid movie by now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
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I was going grocery shopping this morning. They told me latex gloves and a face mask was enough. So i go in the store and what do i see?

The others are still wearing a t-shirt and pants!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/getonmylevel205
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
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I met a woman who makes face masks for people in need during the pandemic, but it looked like she was getting overwhelmed by all the work.

She seamstressed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2020
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Just got back from the grocery store they said all you need is gloves and a mask- they lied

everyone else was wearing clothes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deepspacesquid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2020
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Today I was in the bank when two men came in wearing masks...

Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it's only a bank robbery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2020
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Keep safe during this pandemic and use an old padded bra to make yourself a comfortable mask. Just make sure you use the left cup...

Because if you use the right one you will look like a right tit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Astoran15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2020
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Where did the Apostle Paul buy his mask for the Corona Virus?

At a shop on the road to Damaskus...

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/regfol31
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
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As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.

As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hashsmasher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2020
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The grocery delivery guy keeps wearing a mask and always stands 2 feet away from me...

I think I need to shower.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
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I asked the bank teller why the guy sitting at the next window was wearing a mask & a cowboy outfit?

She said he was the lone arranger.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2020
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I read that a mask and gloves were appropriate ppe for going out to the grocery store.

Well that is total bs, everyone else had clothes on too.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/savantard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2020
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Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask /r/Jokes/comments/fdtyi2/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PigeonGang1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2020
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A Man In a Ski Mask Walks into a Bank, and Pulls out a Coffee Cup at the Bank Teller.

The Bank Teller Goes: " Are you Trying to Mug me?! "

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Powershroom64
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2019
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If the girl from PJ Masks gets wet

Is she a moist Owlette?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DingoAltair
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2018
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That little paper mask they ask you to wear at the Medical Clinic is called...

A Coughy Filter!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slowshot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2018
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If Amaya from PJ Masks got caught in the rain...

She would turn into a moist Owlette.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jc0mm5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2018
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What did the cat in the bird mask say?

Me Owl!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xXD3aTh_StR0K3Xx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2016
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They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket ...

they lied, everybody else had their clothes on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 153
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Luc1113
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 188
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tburns1469
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
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They said a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket ...

they lied, everyone else had their clothes on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/growupyall
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket

They lied, everyone else has clothes on

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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"Why are you wearing a surgical mask?" I asked the barista.

She said, "It's not a mask. It's a coughy filter."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 142
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/milkchaser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2020
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