I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
Why did the picture go to jail
I wanted to go to the local aquarium to see the new dolphin show, but when I got there I couldn’t get in.
It was closed for training porpoises.
Where did the music notes go to get some fried chicken?
I got let go from the dairy farm.
Apparently I don't work well with udders.
People ask my secret to a happy marriage. I tell them the trick is my wife and I go out to dinner twice a week.
I go Tuesdays and my wife takes Thursdays
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
My doctor says that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go.
why did the m&m wanna go to school?
because it wanted to be a smartie
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when they go to the bathroom?
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
Why did ⅕ go to the masseuse?
Because it was two-tenths
What did the French cat say when it wanted to go outside?
Why did the mushroom go to the party
Why did the pig go to jail ?
Why can't Melinda go inside the house she got from her divorce?
Error 404: Gate not found
Why did the Pope go on an Antarctic drilling expedition?
One day all mathematical signs gathered together in order to go into an adventure. Right before they were leaving, they didn't let the equal sign go with them.
They wanted to live an adventure without equal
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
What happens when the CIA go to sleep?
Why did the musician go to jail?
Every time we go to the putting green, my friend has to bring along a bag of Pringles to munch on...
He always wants to practice his chipping.
Why did the chess master go to Prague?
Why did the duck go to jail?
Where did the alcoholic battery go?
If you’re Russian when you go in the washroom and you’re Finnish when you come out, what are you when you’re in there?
What happens when you go the bathroom in Europe?
When I was in elementary school, I learned that "when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking".
I think that rule is graet.
Why did the bee go to the doctor?
Why did the Walrus go to the tupperware party?
He was looking for a tight seal.
Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
If you're cold go and stand in the corner.
Everyone expected him to go postal from the way he was raised, on a high fiber diet...
He had a roughage childhood.
Why did the elephant go to jail?
He had a dead guy in his trunk.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Why did the snowpeople go to the carrot patch?
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent.
I’ll be here all day
I finally got the Covid vaccine yesterday and as I was driving I noticed my vision was blurry. I called the vaccination center and asked if I should go to the doctor or hospital. They said no.
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
I told my 7 year old daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field."
Puzzled she asked, "What's that got to do with anything?
I chuckled, "Well that means....its pasture bedtime. "
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
My doctor said that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go....
Why did the bee go to the doctor?
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