A little boy ran up to me, and said "please help, my Dad is in a fight" so we went around the corner and two men were fighting each other. ok, I said, which one is your Dad..?
I dunno, he said, that's what they're fighting about...
Did you hear about the ambidextrous people who got in a fight?
One was right so the other one left
What happened when the devil tried to pick a fight with the cat?
Loose fur went everywhere....
Why don't boxers have sex the night before a fight?
They don't like each other.
Two clouds got into a fight and the first punch was thrown.
Why dont professional boxers have sex, the night before a fight?
They usually dont like each other very much.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well armed.
Why didnt the skeleton fight the monster?
Did you hear about the fight at the campground?
Did you hear about the guy who got high on amphetamines and tried to fight Mike Tyson?
I just got into a brutal fight the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.
The odds were against me.
What does the cake say when it gets into a fight?
Did you hear about the fight that broke out at the seafood restaurant?
I threw seasoning at another chef when we got into a fight in the kitchen
Now I'm being charged with a salt.
What do you call stopping a fight to use the bathroom?
What is the most common place couples fight at the mall?
a fight broke out in the local McDonald's..
.. it was an Unhappy Melee
Gloria Gaynor went to fight Medusa and lived to tell the tale.
"First I was afraid, I was petrified!"
Holy Cow! Did you hear about the fight between 2019 and 2020?
My wife and I always fight over the right way to hang the toilet paper roll, so our therapist suggested we try the other person's way for a week.
The first rule of Gen Z Fight Club is..
... you do not TikTok about Gen Z Fight Club.
(Second rule: you TikTok about not being able to TikTok about Gen Z Fight Club).
I was challenged to an impromptu sword fight. Unfortunately, the first thing I could grab was a pumpkin.
The last time the United States had to fight off a foreign invasion was against the British in The War of 1812.
Just think, if the British had won, we'd all be speaking English now.
Did you hear about the mime fight?
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.
Cathedrals help to fight the climate change
because they are echo friendly
I moved into a new apartment but my first day there I got into a huge fight with the landlord and ended up in jail
The bastard kept demanding first and last month's rent and I kept telling him I wasn't here last month
My chiropractor and I got into this terrible fight in the middle of my neck treatment.
Now I have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.
What do you call Batman the day after a brutal fight?
A couple gets in a big fight over the dog.
The dog smartly gets out from underneath them.
My daughter was at the fair the other night. Two girls got into a fight. My daughter broke it up.
I asked her why did you break it up? It was a fair fight. (True story btw).
We threw a water balloon fight at work today, but one of the balloons that hit our boss wasn't exactly filled with water.
Needless to say, our boss got pissed.
Have you heard about the fight between Pennywise and a chocolate statue of the Son of God that annoyed a lot of homeowners?
An angry one was heard saying "Sweet Jesus, stop It!"
I met the school bully whilst in the queue for the cafeteria today. it was ok but, the teacher said we could not fight here.
Huge fight breaks out at the Hanes factory
It started when a guy socked his manager
I've always read how peoples kids have come up with witty amazing dad jokes.. And finally I can join that club. My 7 year old daughter said this to me today: "Daddy, the eyelash and the lipstick were in a fight"....
But don't worry, they'll make up 🤣🤣
Did you hear about the outlet who got in a fight with the power cord?
He thought he could socket to him.
What's the first meal of Fight Club?
I was working at this store when a man suddenly came in to rob the place. I managed to fight him off with a price tag gun….
Now the police are looking for him with a price on his head
what happened to the pirate's hand after he was in a bar fight?
He had Blistering Bar Knuckles.
My friend was sleeping on the couch after a fight with his wife
So I asked him how things were going
He said, “Sofa so good”
Which image type always has a fight with the rest?
Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?
Battered fish everywhere!!
There must have been a big fight at the seafood restaurant today.
There were battered fish everywhere.
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