I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
What do you call a dog that works in the medical field?
My friend decided to grow some marijuana on the fields beside his cow farm.
I told him to be careful, the steaks are high.
What did the farmer say when he found three holes in his field?
An angry fan just threw a bottle of mustard on the field at the Tennessee game...
I guess the team needed to ketchup.
I asked a Scottish botanist if I could go out in the field with her.
I’m watching the White Sox and Yankees play a Major League game at the field where the filmed the “Field of Dreams.” It’s truly a-maizing.
Couple of farmers were waiting for the minister at the fields...
Why were the cows always returning to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
In track and field, why do they run the 1500 meters
I've just driven past a field full of flying pigs, I asked the farmer what was going on and he said...
These two wind turbines are standing in a field and one asks the other “what type of music do you like?”
The other one says “I’m a huge metal fan”
I managed to break both big toes during my soccer match today, had to come off the field in horrible pain, and my team went on to lose the match 0-4.
Today I truly suffered the agony of da feet.
Two horses in a field, one says to the other “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse’
Two giant wind turbines are standing in a field,the first one turns around and asks:"what i your favourite type of music?"
The second turbine said:"I'm a giant metal fan"
Why did the Cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!
A writing utinsil at the absolute top of its field ...
... has reached the pen-nicle
What happens when a cow goes out into a field in the summer?
So two wind turbines are standing in a field when one asks the other ‘what kind of music do you like?’
The second replies ‘I’m a big metal fan’
Courtesy of my 10 year old!
What's the fastest way to move cattle from one field to another?
Watched the cows pick up some baby goats on their way across the field today.
I guess the kids are part of the moovement now.
I’ve been running naked across the field at the same game for five straight years.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant’s head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke’s son and knocked him off the battle field.
Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.
The umpire at my son's baseball game kept wandering around the field and was eventually knocked out by a stray ball.
It was the fall of the roamin' umpire.
I was walking past a field and saw a couple of guys stealing the steps off a fence.
A lady came up to me and said 'Aren't you going to stop them?'
I said 'No. That's not my stile.'
I saw some cows in the field smoking a joint and playing poker.
What do Germans call the first day of wheat harvest, and also a popular children's game where kids chase each other around a wheat field?
2 snowmen out in a field, one turns to the other and says...
A farmer was bringing his cows in from the fields ...
and he counted 396 of them.
But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
What do you call the British Prime Minister in a wheat field?
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
I was stood in a field the other day wondering why the frisbee coming towards me was getting bigger
Why did the farmer get pulled over after planting his field?
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
Just casual exchange with coworker in the health field.
I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
Told my kids it was time for bed because the cows are sleeping in the field…
They said what’s that got to do with anything? I told them it’s pasture bedtime.
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
I said to my daughter "The cows are out sleeping in the field." She said "What's that got to do with anything? "
I said "It's pasture bedtime."
these two wind turbines were standing in the field talking. one says to the other, "what kind of music do you like?" the reply...
I said to my daughter, ”It’s time for bed, the cows are asleep in the field”. She asked ”what’s that got to do with anything’?
I said “It’s pasture bedtime”.
Two snowmen in a field... One says to the other...
Two wind turbines are standing in a field and one asks the other ‘what kind of music do you like?’
The other replies ‘Well, I’m a big metal fan.’
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back
Why weren't the cows in the field?
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