Towards the end of WW2 the Americans decided to try out an advanced, decisive strategy for war ..
Before you go in the bathroom you're American...
After you come out, you're American...
What are you when you're in the bathroom?
European
(as told by my 10 year old daughter)
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
The native american legends has a mythical creature similar to the unicorns of Europe.
An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked “can you see me ok?”
To which they answered “yes” “oui” “si” “ja”.
An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.
But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
How many dead bodies are buried in the average American cemetery?
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
The one and only acceptable way of advertising
Do you know the difference between a Russian and American genealogists?
My friend was trying to feed her baby but he was having none of it. I said "Try the Airplane."
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
Ah sorry i didn't read the name of the subreddit right
American geologists found the largest deposits of oil.
And some unknown Arab country above it.
The CEO of IKEA was just selected as the Prime Minister of Sweden
He’s assembling his cabinet.
If Emily gets depantsed in front of her friends...
She’s em-bare-assed on 2 levels
So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?
What American President had the highest approval rating among pirates?
Did the Native Americans hunt bear?
No, they hunted with clothes on.
What is the opposite of isolate?
I need someone to repair the stone wall in the front of my house, but I don’t have a lot of money.
Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.
Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War
For the Confederacy, it all went South from there
All hail the holy antlers of the deer god
It just occurred to me that the opposite of Artificial Intelligence is …
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
The Adventures of the Mathmagician (an educational and punny comic).
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
What's the opposite of ladyfinger?
the very peak of my existence about 6 months ago today
What is the hairiest side of a gorilla?
If someone told me tomorrow is the start of a new month...
The cast of “Friends” got stuck at sea in a boat, but thankfully nothing happened.
What's the best time of day on a clock?
The other day my dog fell into a lake and was drowning. Then some German guy came out of nowhere and saved his life
After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"
He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"
The most important part of a mail pun, is the delivery.
What was the name of Robin Hood's Dad?
Towards the end of WW2 the Americans decided to try out an advanced, decisive strategy for war
The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom?
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